Anonymous

My wife post pics on facebook of her and her ex's kids. She always tags him in the pics. He is not in the pic. I'm not tagged and I just wonder if it's ok for me to feel jealous, hurt, upset?

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Rooster Cogburn Profile
Rooster Cogburn , Rooster Cogburn, answered

Facebook stuff means nothing to me. You could talk some to her about it but it doesn't sound that bad to me. I think Facebook causes more problems and misunderstandings than anywhere else. Just casually bring it up in a conversation and let her give you her side. I wouldn't be upset in the least ! Kind of trivial, don't you think?

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Rooster Cogburn
Rooster Cogburn commented
All I ever hear of are these problems with Facebook, Twitter and the rest. I'll pass.
Barb Cala
Barb Cala commented
Me too .. I closed my account years ago.
Jann Nikka
Jann Nikka commented
99% of FB people don't care what they post, each post is 15 minutes of fame. They post their life, children lives, families and BS, fights, drama and pure stupid, lies and adultery. They just don't care.
While claiming their Christians and setting foot in the church on Easter and Christmas if they can find the churchūüėě.
Lard Ass Profile
Lard Ass answered

Oh my....one of the reasons I'll never join Facebook or anything like it. Someone posts a picture with no ill intent and it just blows up. Those are her children! Regardless of who their father is, she's proud of them! It's just a website!

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

You weren't in the picture so there is no reason to tag you. If she were to tag you - people would be looking for YOU in the picture. Let it go. She tagged the ex in case he wanted to share the pix with HIS friends. Surely you have better things to worry about than Facebook.

Walt O'Reagun Profile
Walt O'Reagun answered

You choose to join into their existing relationship ... So you should have known what you were getting into.  It's pointless for you to have any hard feelings, at this point - unless you want to divorce her.

Arthur Wright Profile
Arthur Wright , Florida Paralegal with a BS degree in Social-Psychology, answered

What you are feeling is quite normal under the circumstances but the big question here is why is she doing this?  To get back at her ex, or you or is she simply that proud of her kids that she really doesn't care whose feelings she steps on?  Now if she posts them with her EX, then maybe Id start to really worry but let it go for now and move on. You didn't say if youre having problems within your Marriage or why she divorced her  first husband ?  Maybe shes some kind of attention seeking person here

Dakota Mackenzie Profile

I stopped using Facebook because everyone is in each other's business. You can feel hurt because you cantncontrol emotions.. Keep in mind that those are her kids and his kids too. That's most likely why he's being tagged even when he's not in the picture. It's normal..

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Sure it's Ok to feel jealous, hurt, upset---as well as angry, confused, and whatever else you're feeling.

Feelings are reactions---they are responses to stimuli and difficult to prevent. 

There's no detailed roadmap to having a successful blended family---you all have to become "pathfinders."

I don't know if you wife knows how what she is doing on facebook affects you.  And even if you tell her, she had a relationship with that man and they had children together.  No matter how significant an influence you now are in their lives, his existence as their father is something that she can't simply ignore; and I'm sure she is still in the process of getting comfortable with that reality and learning how to handle it.

You could use some help dealing with this.  Counseling for you to clarify exactly what and why you are feeling what you are feeling because of this situation would be very useful.  Then depending on what you and the counselor agree would be the best approach to bringing your wife into a solution that works for both of you, you can go forward from here.

Consider the counselor as a "local guide" to assist you in your "pathfinding."

Best of luck---this is eminently amenable to a workable solution.

Tom Mr Profile
Tom Mr answered

I love my wife and her kids.  We have been together 4 years and it has never bothered me for him to come over or sit with us at a game or event.  Just rubbed me wrong that when I'm not at the game or he's not,  or when either one of us is at the game she always post pics and tags him.  I don't even know she posted till I eventually see them in the feed.  Just how my feeling went and I didn't understand why

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Danae Hitch
Danae Hitch commented
I do understand this, but really, this is just a social media site and most of the time, things like this happen and people get hurt feelings about it. This can go either two ways with FB.

Either you're going to get your feelings hurt on a regular basis when she tags her ex, but doesn't tag you in pictures; or you simply acknowledge that this is the way that it is and you just learn to let it go. You also have the option if you hover over people's faces that you "tag yourself" in the pix but it will seem weird if you tag someone else's face just so you get notified of the post.

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