How can I tell boyfriend I prefer not to spend from xmas eve to sunday night with him. We sometimes get on each others nerves with too much time together. He lives out of town and I started something I don't know how to stop?

It sounds to me as if you're not totally into this relationship. If you don't want to spend time with him, maybe it's time for a change.

Considering you mentioned it would be out of town to visit him, then that would suggest you are adults. So.. As an adult, take a stance on what you want to do. If you want to spend time with him, spend time with him .. If you also need to find time to spend with your family (for example), then tell him that is your plan.  Tell him you want to spend at least some time with your family. THAT is understandable considering time is so limited to spend with everyone you love during the holidays ...especially if they don't live in the same town.

However .. And having said that .. If you find that you really don't care about him enough to want to spend time with him .. Well, that is a different story. Not that Christmas is the best time to dump someone, but .. You have to be honest with him about what YOU want out of this relationship.  Staying in a one sided relationship because you don't know how to tell him is unfair and such a waste of both his time and yours. If you are not in this relationship for all the right reasons ... then get out of it for the right reasons.

I'm happily married for the past 34 years.

My wife and I both understand the need each of us has to spend time alone at various times and for various healthy reasons.

(And wanting to be alone is not the same as not wanting to be with the person who wants you to be with him.)

The important thing in any relationship is to be able to make reasonable accommodations for each other's needs, with deference to each other's preferences, but not abandoning their own wants and desires.