What is the best way to tell a guy I don't want to be too physical early on in a relationship? I'd rather get to know his personality and traits before we jump to kissing. How can I put it tactfully?


3 Answers

Matt Radiance Profile
Matt Radiance answered

You should do it in any way that you're comfortable the most.You need to be able to express your heart out without being worried or guilty. If he's ready for a relationship, he'd know how settle things down with a lady he likes. If you try to pretend your way you'll make it the worst way possible.But just follow simple factors. Be nice,polite,calm & yourself.

If he's a real man for you, he would understand how a lady would need such space. He need to respect your wishes & your will. If that's how you feel, That's what he should do, He need to accept you for who you are. How you think  & walk along with your feelings. If he tried to be pushy about it then you might consider if he even understands the  terms & requirements of love & a relationship.

Shinypate one Profile
Shinypate one answered

"I have a personal  rule on kissing: No kissing until we both agree its an exclusive relationship. This means we need to know each other pretty well. But I don't have such a rule on holding hands, if that helps."

2 People thanked the writer.
View all 4 Comments
Shinypate one
Shinypate one commented
Good luck, Bethany, and let us know how it worked out!
Chocolatey  Goodness
Thanks! I'll try. ;)
Chocolatey  Goodness
Well, it didn't work out. :( We didn't see each other after all. This guy really needs help communicating. Three strikes and he's out. I'm going to leave him alone for a while and just hope he wises up. Meanwhile, there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Arthur Wright Profile
Arthur Wright , Florida Paralegal with a BS degree in Social-Psychology, answered

You may have to be direct here and straightforward in that you only want to be friends first and see what happens after that.  If he is truly interested in you, he will understand and agree. If he doesn't then you know he's only interested in one thing and isn't good relationship material and hes not for you. 

If he agrees, just take things nice and slow and let Nature run its course as you're probably still fairly young so you'll go thru a lot of BFs  before you find your Prince and start thinking about settling down around 24-25. But be careful as there are a lot of wolves in sheep clothing when it comes to guys.  Good luck

1 Person thanked the writer.
Chocolatey  Goodness
Ahaha, thank you. ^_^ I'm actually much older than I look, but just don't have a heck of a lot of dating experience due to being painfully shy most of my life and very reserved. Thanks for the tips! I totally agree that if he doesn't want to stick around after that, he's not the guy for me.
Chocolatey  Goodness
Annnd....he's not the guy for me. :'(

Answer Question