How can I get my wife to take interest in our sex life?

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7 Answers

Didge Doo Profile
Didge Doo answered

Two words: Romance her. It might not work but it's worth a try.

But living with your mother? That's gotta be a turn-off for her, even if they get along very well. Inhibiting. I understand that sometimes it's necessary to share accommodation for a while but if you can get away on your own things might sort themselves out.

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Didge Doo
Didge Doo commented
A kind of inverse-viagra effect.
Daemon rex
Daemon rex commented
I am in india .. 99 percent of families here live with their Parents ..
Didge Doo
Didge Doo commented
Sorry, Daemon, I didn't know that. Your culture is one of the oldest in the world and the answers you receive from Westerners will probably not be helpful.
PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

If you are already helping around the house with chores, and kids if you have them, so she isn't exhausted at the end of the day, and you are still showing affection without the sexual component, There are a couple of options. Take her out for some alone time where it is just you two and make no mention of the daily drudgery of chores and bills.

If that doesn't work suggest she a doctor. Sometimes it is a medical problem.

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PJ Stein
PJ Stein commented
You are living with your mother? That can be part of the problem. A lot of people are not comfortable with parents in the house. I know I'm not.
Rath Keale
Rath Keale commented
Some people are just not compatible in that way. My first marriage was to a man who didn't want sex more than once a year! He was 25. Not gay. Not injured. Not depressed.
I'm sorry things are that way at your house. Things are similar at my house, but I don't mind. At least it gives you more time to make a great contribution online with us. I'm glad of that.
Didge Doo
Didge Doo commented
Bad news, RK. I'm sorry to hear that. There's no real solution.
Jaimie  JT Profile
Jaimie JT answered

Everyone else's answers are awesome .. But if all else fails fermented grapes help . Otherwise known as wine.

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John Doe
John Doe commented
I did too! So hopefully he'll find his way.
Jaimie  JT
Jaimie JT commented
I hope so :) I never knew him there but I saw a Q or something today said his life over without ask. I found it confusing here at first too .. I'm a blonde and I figured it out so:.....;)
John Doe
John Doe commented
Otis is aight...makes shine for everyone! What's not to like! ;)
Matt Radiance Profile
Matt Radiance answered

First, You mentioned a time measure like once in two week . .You need to remember,  physical contact doesn't have a measure, only you do it when you are ready physically & psychologically. Marriage & also being in young ages period, doesn't mean physical contact needs to be overreacted. There might be several factors you need reconsider. A little wrong move in these majors would destroy the whole relationship. 

As a man, you are the provider & your wife's will & feelings are the priority. It's important to remember, never press her toward your needs. If she doesn't feel like it, you need to respect that. This is part of marriage.  What I think is, she is interested already, but not feeling like it. These are different.  It could be the effect of her menstrual cycles & her job & also her tiredness or maybe the environment is not comfortable for her.  I don't know how you're looking at the point & how you applying through this. But you need to walk with her feelings.  When she doesn't feel like it,  you shouldn't sound pushy. You need to find her comfort zones. You need to help her more, be around her more, be closer to her, be more romantic, be kind, listen to her well, give her attention as well & show your love strongly. Make compliments about her appearance, when she make very simple changes, you need to notice & express it  Surprise her with gifts. 

All these things would be exciting foe her, & being excited with her husband can actively produce pleasuring hormones which would prepare her for further joy. Or above all that, maybe you are doing wrong in your duty, maybe you are not providing her needs  You should know that you need to always follow her guide. Maybe you need to gain your sexual knowledge more.  Maybe she's not satisfied as well as she expects & feels.  Maybe she's stressed out to tell you as well be cause she might think she would disappoint you.That would depends how truly you build your relationship close & comfortable. There are so many many things to consider . .since I don't know what situation you dealing with, I can only speak my mind & guesses randomly & that can take forever!


Rath Keale Profile
Rath Keale answered

I think you ought to make plans to be independent of her mother and have your own place, and I think this should happen soon before non-interest in sex becomes an entrenched pattern 

In the meantime, go for weekends in hotels in another community.  Get away and get a room with a jacuzzi.  You be the one to order champagne and bath oil.  Have dinner sent to your room.  Concentrate only upon her sexual pleasure.

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Daemon rex
Daemon rex commented
So many families in India .. Children stay with their parents .. its a norm ..if its a turn off .. that means i am doomed to be sexless forever .. Or i dump my parents .. The problem here is my mother .. This is not new .. she used to stay in a flat before our marriage .. i used to visit . .sexual encounters were rare even then .. (I used to travel 600 km just to visit her Long distance is hard)
Daemon rex
Daemon rex commented
Just a correction *
my wife used to stay in a flat before our marriage .. i used to visit . .sexual encounters were rare even then .. (I used to travel 600 km just to visit her Long distance is hard)
Rath Keale
Rath Keale commented
Yes, it's a turnoff.
Arthur Wright Profile
Arthur Wright , Florida Paralegal with a BS degree in Social-Psychology, answered

This is really simple. If you want your wife to partake in more sexual activities with you, then give her a reason to want to.  Chances are this isn't because of your wife but has more to do with you via your actions and/or attitude towards her, so do some soul searching here and see if there isn't something you cant change to put her more in the mood for more.  

Just like when I played Pro-Football many years ago as a QB, I was told that if I wanted my receivers to catch more than give them something more to catch so hope this makes sense

DDX Project Profile
DDX Project answered

If you want it beat, learn how to eat.

Anyway, you're a man. Cave into your animal instincts. Show your dominance and take whats yours. Be a lion, lure and seduce your lioness as if you were still dating. Be prominent, be vigilant, and be strong. No lioness is going to bend over for a weak pup.

Your mother lives in your lion's den. Or did I get it backwards and you live in your mother's den? Your lioness is probably looking at you with barely an eye open.

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Daemon rex
Daemon rex commented
Again . .see above .. I am from India .. Most responsible children .. take care of their parents .. And we make so many plans without my mother .. i take her out and everything they way she wants it ..
DDX Project
DDX Project commented
@YNP If you can't tell, it's exaggeration humor.
DDX Project
DDX Project commented
@Daemon Were you guys married by arrangement by any chance?

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