I'm really nervous to go on my first date. He said he wanted to hold hands and hug but I'm kinda nervous. What should I do?


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Lia Tan answered

First off just take a deep breath and stop thinking about how things are going to turn out during the date. You'e most likely nervous because you are just worried how people around you are going to think of you. How your date is going to think of you. How your friends are going to think of you. Well that's the thing that you have to stop thinking about.

People around you aren't going to judge because honestly they just don't care about what goes on in your life. I know that sounds a bit insensitive but it's kind of a nice feeling too. So if you do something weird or stupid around other people, they aren't going to really pay too much attention to it unless it's severely stupid and weird which I'm sure you won't be doing.

Second of all, don't worry about what your date will think. No matter how many dates we go through, we will still be somewhat nervous about it. So your date is probably busy trying to focus on himself and hoping that he does the right thing rather than focusing on whether or not you do the "right" thing. In other words, just as long as you be yourself and nothing totally crazy happens, he shouldn't judge you. And if he does, then that's a crappy thing for him to do and you shouldn't go on another date with him again.

Third of all, your friends, although they are excited for you, deep down do not really care too much about all the tiny details. Of course they care about the gushy details but not so much about every little thing. Plus it's not like they're going to stalk you and see if you're doing everything "right" and call you out on everything.

So when you think about it that way, you really don't have anything to worry about. Plus holding hands and hugging isn't a big deal. I know it might seem that way at first but it's really not that bad. People do it all the time in public and they don't necessarily have to be dating. For instance, friends hug each other! Your family hugs you! Small children hold their parents' hand! So as you can see, hugging and holding hands isn't always exclusive to people dating and it's really not that big of a deal when you think about it. It only becomes a big deal because you are putting that on a pedestal. If you take it off the pedestal and treat it as something casual, then it will be casual.

It takes time and practice to get used to stuff like that so I can still understand why it freaks you out. But just try putting things into perspective and hopefully you will freak out a little bit less. Good luck with your date!

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