I am really falling for this guy, he is sweet cute funny and would never hurt me on purpose - but the problem is that the guy is 23 and I'm 14. What should I do?


3 Answers

Rooster Cogburn Profile
Rooster Cogburn , Rooster Cogburn, answered

Well, depending on where you live would make a difference. In the U.S. , most all states consider this illegal and could arrest the male if there was any physical contact and your Parents called the Cops. Best advice I can give you is to let him go and stay within your age group. Better safe than sorry!

Izzy SouthernGirl Profile

That is definitely way too far apart. You would need to find someone your own age.

Marta Catalano Profile
Marta Catalano answered


when it comes to relatinships age matters but not simply like a number. Numbers go hand in hand with social norms, so it would be socially unacceptable for some people for you to stay with a  23 years old guy, even if this guy acted and behaved like a 13 years old kid.

In your situation, it depends on a lot of factors: If you guys sincerely feel something about each other and these feelings go both ways (does this guy want to be with you in a relationship?). 

I think that people see this 9 years difference differently mostly because you are 14 as well. If you were, let's say 28 you would be in a relationship with a 37 years old guy and this wouldn't sound THAT shocking.  At this age though, it would be more advisable to look for someone closer to your age range, because compared to you, this guy probably has more experience, different habits, and ways of thinking. However if you're mature or are both on the same wavelenght then it would be more understandable.

The thing is, do you like this guy merely because he's "sweet, cute, and funny"?  Or there is something more? Because even at 16 a guy can be "sweet, cute, and funny" without being that compromising.

I would say, you should do what you feel like doing but you should also think about it carefully first. As Rooster said, in some countries a relationship like this would be considered on the verge of being "illegal" (although I think this applies mostly if you two start to get intimate).

If you honestly like this guy and want to be with him (and he wants the same thing too!), you could both give it a try. Age is not merely a number written on a piece of paper, it depends a lot on your attitude and behavior. Think about it and see what you really feel when you are with this guy.

Best of luck!

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