Currently, my 12 year old step daughter does nothing but back talk, disrespect and think she runs this house. Her father (my other half), only corrects her when it gets to the point of beyond ridiculousness. I'm at my whits end, what do I do?
I have found it beneficial for a husband and wife to be in the same line of thought when rearing children together. You should have a discussion with your husband and let him know that this united front is what his daughter should see. Not saying something olnly when he gets fed up. She needs to have respect for you as her stepmom and as adult
I am 13 years old and sometimes I do the same things but you have to realize that we are at that age that we think we know everything and that everything we do and say is the the correct way but my parents also have to check me sometimes. So you need to discipline her more I guess.
AAhhh... Yessss... I remember those young adolescent years when my kids were that age .. And step child or not .. Rest assured, it is not an easy stage for ANY parent.
However, and having said that .. It can be exponentially more difficult if you and her father are not on the same page in terms of boundaries and consequences. SHE is not the primary problem, believe it or not .. SHE is only stepping out and feeling out her boundaries as any child would naturally... You as parents have the thankless job of teaching her those boundaries. She is about to transition from child to adolescent and that comes with challenges .. For both you and her. She needs guidance and parenting ALL the time...
Not occasionally when things get taken to the limit. You all have to start looking at co-existing as FAMILY .. not just 'his' child. You, as her step mother, will not take her mother's place .. but you are entitled to be her step mom ..which in itself is as important. Communicating at this point should be poignant and crystal clear about what is expected from her, and what she can expect from you... AND her father.
If I was about to lose it heres what I would do. It might take more time than other suggestions but it will get the message through loud and clear.
The next time she starts being defiant and disrespectful start recording her (secretly if possible) Get enough footage of her being a little brat and show her father. Tell him you see what I deal with? If you don't discipline your child I will! He may like the fact you recorded her without correcting her actions but obviously the child obeys her biological father more than you, her step mom. . Seeing is believing. Maybe this will help maybe you think it's a terrible idea. Whatever you choose you better act quickly. This is a critical time for a childs development. You don't want her thinking her tantrums and being defiant is ok do you? Act quickly.
On a side note. I don't understand why majority of parents don't hit their children anymore. I got beat everytime I screwed up and I turned out to be a respectful gentlemen. If you get hit hard enough you wont dare make the same mistakes, that's a fact! I see way to many kids acting up in public and the parents are so casual about it. I understand your in a public place but damn, how about a verbal warning or something, anything!. To many parents are giving "timeouts" these days when the child should be getting a beating.(not talking about beaten a kid half dead..Just firm enough so he/she knows that he/she messed up) I can almost guarantee you if your step daughter got a whoopin from her father she would straighten up and act right.
The next time she starts being defiant and disrespectful start recording her (secretly if possible) Get enough footage of her being a little brat and show her father. Tell him you see what I deal with? If you don't discipline your child I will! He may like the fact you recorded her without correcting her actions but obviously the child obeys her biological father more than you, her step mom. . Seeing is believing. Maybe this will help maybe you think it's a terrible idea. Whatever you choose you better act quickly. This is a critical time for a childs development. You don't want her thinking her tantrums and being defiant is ok do you? Act quickly.
On a side note. I don't understand why majority of parents don't hit their children anymore. I got beat everytime I screwed up and I turned out to be a respectful gentlemen. If you get hit hard enough you wont dare make the same mistakes, that's a fact! I see way to many kids acting up in public and the parents are so casual about it. I understand your in a public place but damn, how about a verbal warning or something, anything!. To many parents are giving "timeouts" these days when the child should be getting a beating.(not talking about beaten a kid half dead..Just firm enough so he/she knows that he/she messed up) I can almost guarantee you if your step daughter got a whoopin from her father she would straighten up and act right.
