Yo Kass answered
Whilst it might be commendable that you feel the need to come clean and bring the affair into the open, telling a woman that you are having an affair with her husband is guaranteed to end badly.
In my opinion, if you want to bring everything out in the open, it should be the guy's responsibility to break things to his wife.
On the other hand, if there's no chance that your fling is going anywhere, I'd probably leave things as they are and just step away.
Telling your lover's wife
However she finds out about her husband's infidelity, the woman in question is going to be hurt and humiliated. Why antagonize her further by confronting her yourself?
Her natural reaction will be to lash out at you and, considering your part in the affair, some people might argue that her reaction would be justified.
Whilst I understand your desire to put their relationship out of its misery (so that you can focus on your own), I really can't see the benefit in you being the one to tell her.
Confronting the 'other woman'
Surely the man caught up in this love triangle has a duty to his wife to be the one to set the record straight. If he genuinely wants to choose you over her, then he is the only person fit to announce that decision to his wife.
Coming from you it will just seem spiteful and malicious.
On the other hand, if you know that your relationship with this 'Lothario' is ending, and you're contemplating letting his wife know as a parting gift - I'd urge that you examine the motives behind your decision and what the outcome of your actions will be.
In my opinion, if you want to bring everything out in the open, it should be the guy's responsibility to break things to his wife.
On the other hand, if there's no chance that your fling is going anywhere, I'd probably leave things as they are and just step away.
Telling your lover's wife
However she finds out about her husband's infidelity, the woman in question is going to be hurt and humiliated. Why antagonize her further by confronting her yourself?
Her natural reaction will be to lash out at you and, considering your part in the affair, some people might argue that her reaction would be justified.
Whilst I understand your desire to put their relationship out of its misery (so that you can focus on your own), I really can't see the benefit in you being the one to tell her.
Confronting the 'other woman'
Surely the man caught up in this love triangle has a duty to his wife to be the one to set the record straight. If he genuinely wants to choose you over her, then he is the only person fit to announce that decision to his wife.
Coming from you it will just seem spiteful and malicious.
On the other hand, if you know that your relationship with this 'Lothario' is ending, and you're contemplating letting his wife know as a parting gift - I'd urge that you examine the motives behind your decision and what the outcome of your actions will be.
