If a man has led you to believe he is on the way out of a relationship that he is no longer in a relationship and you then discover he has been using you and that you have been unwittingly complicit in stringing his partner along then yes tell the partner because it forces him to address the issues and lies he has in his real life relationship and it takes you out of their forum completely.
Once you tell the partner there is no road back, so if you have any doubt in your mind that you are unable to deal with him being furious and hating you don't tell.
If on the other hand you are outraged and disgusted to have been used as some sort of lay bye for a mans middle aged relationship angst and he led you to believe he was being honest, then let her know and throw his baggage back where it belongs, ie into the baggage reclaim dept of the REAL, NOT OVER relationship that he needs to address honestly.
Yes it will hurt his wife, but you are not the one who cheated on her, he is and forcing him into a dialogue regarding his deceit with his wife takes you out of the picture and frees you from his mess and their issues as a couple.
Nobody should ever feel that they have to carry the burden of someone elses lie in order to be seen as a "nice" person.
Honest people have a sense of personal integrity and protecting a cheating liars disprespected partner from his lies is not in anyones best interests long term.
In the long run the truth does everyone a favour, concealing a mans secrets and allowing yourself to continue to do so after being used by him is good how?
At what point does a deceitful liar deserve protection or a woman need protecting from the truth that the man she trusted and loved as much as you did has broken it?
If you protect a liar you are complicit in the lie.
Tell the ugly truth, through the baggage back where it belongs, wash your hands and walk away to let them sort it out as they see fit.
Poor bloody wives, they need to see that many OW's are also victims of the exact same lies as they have been spun. A decent OW will bail as soon as she realises what is happening and let the living partner know as well, so that the living partner can tear him a new one and make choices from a place of KNOWING who she lives with.
I really feel for the disrespected partners there can't be much more mortifying than having to find out from another woman that your partner is a lying, coward with no respect for integrity or truth and that he has been pretending not to even be in a relationship let alone honour it.
God they make my teeth grind, telling the wives gives them the ammunition they need to change their lives for the better and lets face it ALL women are better off knowing which men are colossal jerks.
Once you tell the partner there is no road back, so if you have any doubt in your mind that you are unable to deal with him being furious and hating you don't tell.
If on the other hand you are outraged and disgusted to have been used as some sort of lay bye for a mans middle aged relationship angst and he led you to believe he was being honest, then let her know and throw his baggage back where it belongs, ie into the baggage reclaim dept of the REAL, NOT OVER relationship that he needs to address honestly.
Yes it will hurt his wife, but you are not the one who cheated on her, he is and forcing him into a dialogue regarding his deceit with his wife takes you out of the picture and frees you from his mess and their issues as a couple.
Nobody should ever feel that they have to carry the burden of someone elses lie in order to be seen as a "nice" person.
Honest people have a sense of personal integrity and protecting a cheating liars disprespected partner from his lies is not in anyones best interests long term.
In the long run the truth does everyone a favour, concealing a mans secrets and allowing yourself to continue to do so after being used by him is good how?
At what point does a deceitful liar deserve protection or a woman need protecting from the truth that the man she trusted and loved as much as you did has broken it?
If you protect a liar you are complicit in the lie.
Tell the ugly truth, through the baggage back where it belongs, wash your hands and walk away to let them sort it out as they see fit.
Poor bloody wives, they need to see that many OW's are also victims of the exact same lies as they have been spun. A decent OW will bail as soon as she realises what is happening and let the living partner know as well, so that the living partner can tear him a new one and make choices from a place of KNOWING who she lives with.
I really feel for the disrespected partners there can't be much more mortifying than having to find out from another woman that your partner is a lying, coward with no respect for integrity or truth and that he has been pretending not to even be in a relationship let alone honour it.
God they make my teeth grind, telling the wives gives them the ammunition they need to change their lives for the better and lets face it ALL women are better off knowing which men are colossal jerks.