How Do I Deal With My Daughter's Boyfriend?

5 Answers

John Profile
John answered
Sorry but it's time to call the police and treat him with as much respect as he deserves..if he is stealing then he needs to go to jail and be left their until the message reaches his brain...if he took money without a contract or permission he needs to pay it back or report him for stealing money from your daughter but if your daughter refuses to see this there probably is not much you can do..if he has put marks on your daughter report him for abuse and make sure to get pictures... But again if your daughter does not think this is wrong and will not stay away from him there is not much you can do about it since she is twenty one ...but I would not pay for the difference in monies stolen or given to him ..your daughter is old enough to know better by now...and if I was you I would get a restraining order to prevent him setting foot on your property if you really believe he is stealing from you...
Jacquelyn Mathis Profile
I have seen this type of cycle many times, in my own family. Sadly, the only way to make this person wake up is to admit him into a long term rehab program, and he has to be willing to do it. I know what it's like to want to kill the person, but it won't solve the problem. The only other way out of this abuse, is for her to leave him, and stay away. If there was another way, like her leaving until he admits himself, that would be the only other option.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Wow--it sounds as though you have your hands full with this guy.  I am a recovering heroin addict--clean for fifteen years.  I am currently writing my memoir and blog about addiction and recovery. 
 
Honestly, unless a person is ready for treatment, it's impossible to get them to go.  It *sounds* as though he has a real problem.  My own belief is that you should cut him off--completely.  If he is stealing from you, deny access to your house.  You are only in control of you--not your daughter or her boyfriend.  Make sure you are doing *nothing* to enable him or your daughter (is she using too?  be honest!). 
 
Your daughter is going to have to come to the realization herself (also) about how destructive this relationship is.    My best advice is to make sure that you do everything you can to protect yourself.  You cannot change other people but you have the power to change what you allow in your life. 
 
Best of luck! 
 
blog.melindaville.com
samual answers Profile
samual answers answered
Sounds like a blanket party is in order. Follow him to his favorite watering hole, wait till he starts driving home, call the cops and report a drunk driver from a payphone, give plate number etc.. Or just give him the ass whooping he needs. If it were my daughter, that's how I would do it then put a restraining order out to keep him away. Yeah, there's a lot of wouda, couda and shouda's involved here but if hes hurting your little angel, kick his ass!!! let him know that if hurts your daughter in any way, he will go to jail and people in jail will do anything for $50.00 especially the lifers. Let him know you'll you'll make it your life's mission to see he gets his if he should continue to see your daughter. He's not the bad ass he portraits, hes a coward.
Tia Ossenkop Profile
Tia Ossenkop answered
I agree with all that's been said ao far,but I would like to add one more thing. Try to contact the local women's crisis cener for hand outs that help a woman recognize exactly what the signs and behaviorisms are in an abusive relationship. I have one and I keep it close. Your daughter may recognize some of them and begin to realize that she is in a dangerous situation. That's about all you can do to "help" her. Good luck, your in my thoughts and prayers.

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