I'm 21 And Shy, I Have No Friends, What Can I Do To Change This?


14 Answers

Phoebe MadHat Profile
Phoebe MadHat answered
Think about the feedback you may have gotten over the years. Think about what makes you interesting or uninteresting. Then determine to either adjust or improve. Yes, you may have to make changes, but that doesn't mean changing yourself, just how you handle yourself. I was in a very similar situation. Listen to casual conversations around you and compare it to how you talk. Practice small talk in your head, something pleasant and casual if you have trouble talking point blank. If you have a habit of answering in yes or no phrases, try adding a story or relating. You can do it. It's not easy, but if you pay attention, you can gradually figure out what makes you special and how to make it shine. Just get out there and take chances.
Penny Kay Profile
Penny Kay answered
Join a club that is made up of people that share your interests, take a class like in art or sewing or something you would like to learn. This will give you exposure to people who already share an interest with you, making conversation easier. Practice greetings and conversation in my shout box and I will reply. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful, unique, and interesting you REALLY are. Ask your friends what they think your best qualities are. These things can make you feel better about yourself which will help with the shyness.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Are you afraid?  If your answer is yes, it is a sticking point that you CAN work through.  First, try some self improvement books, (a nice big bookstore is a great place to meet up with people.) 
If you think that talking to someone will help, you can try your employee assistance program.  You can conquer your fear, books and a few therapy sessions should do it.
Jacquelyn Mathis Profile
Sounds funny, but go to the salon, get a new hairdo, maybe dye your hair while you're at it, but make sure that it's a cut and dye that fit you, you don't have to do something dramatic and shocking.
People will notice, and will make comments on it, this can help in the aspect that you will thank them for the compliments. Hence, it can help in being a bit more social, and will boost the confidence level and make you feel more secure in yourself.
Silly me, I just realized, you might not be a woman! If you're a man, you can still get a hair cut, you don't have to go for the dye or the shock factor, but it will help with the confidence. Ask someone if they like to walk, and if they might like to go for a walk in the park, on the beach or at a lake. Maybe take a hike, or go to a movie with a co-worker. Hope this helps, good luck.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well some people have problem making friends well don't worry its never too late for starters stop thinking that you are shy you are not shy you can talk to everyone you talk to your parents your siblings all the time I mean you can also talk to other people easily so don't worry do talk to people who you think are like you
talk to them about things that interest them listen to them be a good listener and you would have lots of friends and don't worry you can always make friends online as well
Cindy Thompson Profile
Cindy Thompson answered
My oldest son was very shy. College helped him a little to make friends. However, in the girlfriend department he didn't start dating until later. He just called the other day and he's getting married in October. There is hope for even shy people if they only open up. I wish you the best.
emma danish Profile
emma danish answered
Could I suggest you enrole on a course to enrich your life with confidence since you said your home alone every evening go and register on one I have a friend who was just like this she had help through a training course and now she's sometimes too busy for me ahh ,don't mind though ,but seriously it will boost your confidence to no end take care
christa griffith Profile
 I think you should start by trying to make yourself fill better about yourself. Also try to think of the people at your work they probably want to talk to you but just don't know how to approach doing this task I know you probably wont believe this but I was shy to at first people thought I was a snob cause I would never talk to anyone but then I started talk in to this girl and next thing I knew random people started coming up to me and talk in to first I wasnt for sure how to take it but then I started talk in to people little by little.if this dosent work try talk in to more people little by I hope you try takin my advice and I also hope it works for you like it did me.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Oh Dear, this is not good. Every one in this world wants some one who he/she can share everything with. The only way you can change this thing is by making friends. Try to make some friends on internet or phone first. This may cure your shyness then you may turn a bit confident and make friends at work and other places. Human beings don't bite , believe me no body will say a single thing to you if you ask them to be your friend or talk to them first. Rather than living in your own world, try to go and spend time with your relatives and friends. Go to parties , invite people at your place, go out to watch movies. You can do a lot. It high time that you start your social life now.
thanked the writer.
Anonymous commented
I think you should start by chatting more with you fellow workers. This will help you loosen up and then maybe you and a co worker can get together for a night out to a club where people dance and you can miggle with other people. If your a guy you have to make the first move to start talking to people. Some women are outgoing and might come up to you but don't count on it. If your a women . Its a little easier because a guy would come up to you and start talking. But be careful, many men are out just to get you in bed. So be discreet about everything you talk about. I was shy all my life and I'm to old to change many of my ways. But if I had to do it all over again. You have to learn to be outword and enjoy life. So be safe and don't be so shy.
Phoebe MadHat
Phoebe MadHat commented
I disagree. Friendship comes from meeting in person and it is far to dangerous and isolationist to befriend someone via the phone or internet. I agree though, it takes going out and acting, taking chances.
Liz Lajqi
Liz Lajqi commented
How can a person with no friends go to parties and spend time with friends, you idiot?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well friends are very important in the persons life I know how you feel. You shouldnt be shy though you will  find the right people to hang out talk more to people help others as well if they are in need that might get you a few friends as well :)
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If you have any cousins, why don't you start trying to hang out with them as starters.  There's nothing closer then family, and they keep you company.  I also don't have many close friends, but having my cousins to talk to and go out to the mall feels enough.^_^
Brenda Everett Profile
Brenda Everett answered

Becoming less shy is difficult. It is not a process that will happen over night, rather over a length of time.

I would suggest you make small steps. Reach out to one person that you have shared interests with. Maybe join a community group? This is what I'm doing.

Some people will shun you, some people will treat you kindly. Don't take notice of the negative, and focus on the new friends that you will eventually gain.

People are often busy in their lives, so i try to be cheerful and outgoing so that they will want to see me and spend some more time with me. You should try the same thing.

- Brenda

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well you could practice it in your room until you get used to it and your friends will love you
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well hii... Don't feel alone.. There are so many persons in this world who want to be your friend... I suggest you to b (+ve) with everyone... You want to make a friends.. Then just go to parks or in some other ways where the people want to spend their evening  talk to any old person after that any young boy you find that they came to close with you.... Kk.. First I want to b your friend cn v b a friend...

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