Just let her feel what she needs to feel. EVEN if you don't agree with what she should be feeling at that time. Just listen.. And don't take it personally if she doesn't want to be held, touched, or talked to.. It's normal and it has nothing to do with you. It's just the process.
Be there for her and put your arms around her. Allow her to be quiet or speak of her family as she wishes. Perhaps you could offer to go to the funeral with her - but respect her wishes in this respect. Buy her some flowers and keep in contact. Remember just before the funeral things are liable to be really hazy so she might need even more support later. If she shows signs of getting depressed see if she will see a bereavement counsellor to talk through her feelings.
That's a question that kind of depends on the personality of this girl.
If she's sensitive, be sensitive. If she wants to talk, listen. REALLY listen! Look her in the eye, and if she cries, hold her and/or wipe her tears away. If she just doesn't want to think about it, talk about something else. Try and make her laugh or smile. If she tries to get you to leave her alone, give her some space. But parting words work great. If she want to be left alone, just tell her that you're there for her when she does need you and if she doesn't approach you for a while, ask her what you can do for her. You can also take her somewhere to take her mind off of the heartache. Also, seize every oprotunity to listen. If she starts to talk, but hesitates, tell her to go on. Tell her you don't mind or, even better, want to listen. I hope this helps and good luck!
