I can feel what you are going through but I guess I'm younger than you(25) but just be patient, love him more than he really expect, be there when he need you most. One day he will realize his problem and he is going to ask for help from the doctors.good luck.just forget about the man who keeps coming where you work.
He probably represents something you don't have at home in your marital relationship. Only you can answer what that is. Admitting this is the first step to finding health.