Why Do Parents Of Molesters Deny Anything Ever Happened?


4 Answers

Mary Frederick Profile
Mary Frederick answered
Parents of molesters, often deny their child has molested someone, because of the tragedy of such an event. The parents of someone who molests another, causes the parents to feel guilt, shame and disbelief. Many times a molester is someone who was molested by someone, in their own family and parents know this, but do not want to admit the truth. Rarely, does someone molest, unless the person himself/herself was molested. Often, the molester was molested by a parent and in some cases was molested by both parents.

Parents never want to admit a son or daughter has committed a crime of any type. Parents are often embarrassed and have difficulty admitting their child could commit such a heinous crime, regardless of the age of the child. Some parents realize the seriousness of such cases, and want to support their child and help their child. Some parents have turned their child who molested someone over to the police.

Just as sad as parents, who do not want to admit their child molested, are the parents who do not want to admit their child has been molested. Within some cultures such events are considered to bring shame upon the family. Parents hide the fact their child is a molester or has been molested out of shame. To me this is very sad, for when parents allow a child to suffer additional pain, because of their own selfish pride, it is to me another crime against the child whatever the age.

Anyone who is molested by anyone, should always tell a person in authority, a parent, a relative, a teacher, principle, the police or even a neighbour or parent of a friend. The only way to stop such abuse is tell someone who can lead the molester to conviction. Child molesters will always be child molesters is what child molesters say about themselves.
thanked the writer.
j paniagua
j paniagua commented
You are right the family of the 15 year old did tell us their son had been molested in elementary school but they state that our son is mixed up and his memory is playing tricks on him and that it must be someone else. The 15 year old (now 18 because our son waited 3 years to tell) never even had to speak to the police because he plead the 5th. The family were friends of ours, the father is the bishop of our church, how do you get past that. What do we tell our son?
Mary Frederick
Mary Frederick commented
You are dealing with a very real, yet difficult dilemma. The is not a lot you can tell your child, but there is lot you can do to prove your love and support. This is what he needs, he needs to know the abuse is over. His life can be different only when he can, say
Anonymous commented
My mom had once met the mom of a boy who picked on me in Primary School who supposedly molested her son before he started primary school with me. This may have been why he chose to pick on me. Yet, my mom did not even assume that she could be blameworthy/culpable of such a horrific thing against her child.
Jordan Khalaf Profile
Jordan Khalaf answered
Did you ever see South Park where the kids said that their parents molested them just so that they can do whatever they want without worrying about potential consequences for their movements?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
The perpetrator was probably just stewing in his guilt/juice! Or maybe, the justice system was forced to drop it since no physical evidence was found to support the child molestation case.
Jacquelyn Mathis Profile
I'm not a professional, but deep down I think that all parents want to think that they have raised a productive, positive, and kind person; someone who is good.

They don't want to think that their own child is truly capable of doing something so horrid. People do grow up to be a product of their environment, and in some, not all cases, that environment can be the worst thing for a child. Other things can factor in as well. Someone could come from a most loving and protected home, and could just have some bad wiring, (for a lack of better wording) that makes them think in a bad way.

Still in most of these cases, a parent is again, for a lack of better words, programmed to think that their child is a good child. It's human nature to look for the good things in life, and when something so terrible has happened, it can cause disbelief. Hope this helps.
thanked the writer.
j paniagua
j paniagua commented
Thank you for your comment...my 9 year old son was molested by our 15 year old neighbor boy, we noticed huge changes in our son, depression, wetting the bed, nightmares etc. we put him in thereapy right away of course. but we didn't know what was wrong. our son waited 3 years to say anything. We reported the molestation. The neighbor family hired an attorney and their son pleaded the 5th. the DA dropped the case because of no physical evidence and because the perp would not talk. Is this how our judicial system works.

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