I am a 13 year old, gender fluid, bisexual girl in 8th grade.I like my girlfriend, who is a few months younger and in 7th grade and we have been d8ing for almost 6 months, but I have been developing a really big crush on one of my good friends. We were at an awards ceremony for semester 1 ( i got honor roll and teachers pet uh i mean choice) and when before i was called up, he looked kind of sad, as he has been lately. A few weeks ago, he was on the verge of tears because he was not going to be allowed to bring a chrome book home from school because his parents would not sign the permission slip. Me and my friend tried to cheer him up, but he asked to be left alone. When we got up to leave, he pulled me aside and asked if he could tell me something important. Naturally, being his friend, i said yes. Reluctantly, he told me that he hated his parents for not letting him do the chrome book things. He also said he disliked them because of how they were always fighting. He talked about his urges to run away and even commit suicide. Now, being concerned for him , i started crying, because one of my friends was really depressed. And she said she was getting"spasm attacks"and cutting herself bc i said i did not want to be her friend anymore bc she called my gf busty for wearing a really pretty dress that was a little big. Anyways, i learned that she doesn´t even cut herself, but makes marks on herself with pencils, which made me really angry bc i know a person, one of my close friends from my old school who tried to take her own life by cutting and that person is in a mental facility currently, she also tried to hang herself and overdose on antidepressants. :(
After begging his parents, they finally signed the permission slip, and he talked to them about how he was feeling about them fighting and how he was hurting. When he hurt, it hit me 1000 times worse. I hated to see him so sad. Well, his parents went to couples therapy and worked out their problems , and Jonathon was happy- go lucky again, which made me happy. We were back to talking about fnaf, boyinaband, living tombstine, mandopony, baasik, blach gryph0n, and gravity falls fanfictions ( i ship bipper ALL THE WAY!!!! No shame!!) ,and i noticed how cute he was. I noticed that he was stealing glances at me,ones that lasted up to a few minutes at a time when he thought i wasnt looking. I also found myself, well, not exactly staring, at him also.
idk what to do. I dont want to break my gf s heart, but i also don´t want to be too late with Jonathan. I care about both of them so much, and i hate to see Madison hurt but i also really like Jonathan. What do i do??????????