How did you choose to talk and handle Alcohol and Marijuana use with your children? My youngest is seeing kids fist time away from home go insane with getting their hands on both in such an extreme fashion.


4 Answers

dragonfly forty-six Profile

In our home alcohol and marijuana was a subject that we started dialoguing about real early in their lives. Our family history includes drug and alcohol abuse and I wanted them to be informed as soon as possible.

Along with that open dialogue we eventually added peer pressure and self governing. I've seen many kids get swept up in the first semester in the whirl of college experimentation at the cost of their education. We have always been honest with them also, age appropriate but honest. In our house the mantra was always " handle your business first, then you can play".

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

I wouldn't say that this was easy - it's never easy to talk about how one son died and how the father fell apart. However, I did have a ready example of what happens to a person when they turn to drugs / alcohol to cope when something bad happens.

I never kept any alcohol in the house so neither one of us would be tempted to turn to it instead of dealing with a problem. My son will be 24 in 2 months and I still have problems (in my head) about having a bottle of wine in the house. Weird, I know.

I told my son that I chose not to have alcohol in the house because there were many family members - on both sides - that have had problems with substance abuse. He has seen classmates when he was in high school that drank until they threw up and they thought it was like a badge of honor to get that drunk.

I've never seen the appeal of that and neither did he. I know he drank in high school but he never drove while he was drinking so I count that as a semi-win. I learned later that his friend's mother was supplying the kids with the alcohol - and years later I still want to go over and kick her ass for doing that.

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Danae Hitch
Danae Hitch commented
Just makes you want to shake your head and go, "WTH were you thinking?????"
Danae Hitch
Danae Hitch commented
DM, I'm not sure I answered your question exactly. So I'm going to take another stab at it. For this subject, the blinders come off for me and I would be very honest with my child. You also will know how they will do when you really look at who they spend time with. If they were doing this by themselves, that would be one thing.

However, we are dealing with idiocy that goes across all ages. Filming themselves doing stupid and reckless things and then posting it will come back to haunt them later on. So, take the gloves off, my man. See who they are friends with. Find out how they (your child) really feel about drugs / alcohol and work from there.
Darik Majoren
Darik Majoren commented
You did fine in both Posts Danae, and thank you.
Water Nebula Profile
Water Nebula answered

The perks of being forever alone

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Is your youngest also away from home or is he just becoming aware of this situation?

I need to be more clear on the exact situation before I make any suggestions.

thanked the writer.
Darik Majoren
Darik Majoren commented
My son is away from home, but he is not the problem.
I was just wondering how other parents handled the information . . . I am very open with my boys . . . so far so good.
Tom  Jackson
Tom Jackson commented
You most likely have been able to convey your attitudes toward drugs and alcohol to them. (I realize alcohol is also a drug, but we know more about the alcoholic's brain specifically.)

Anecdote: My wife once asked our youngest (35) a few years ago why he never did drugs. His reply was, "Can you imagine me trying to explain to Dad why I was doing drugs."

The point is that if you have a proper attitude toward engaging in mind altering behavior, they probably won't have a problem.

But for others, it's never too late to address the issue because it is part of life.

But I would probably not use too many extreme examples of bad outcomes because those are the exceptions rather than the rule and are probably beyond the typical outcomes that such kids are routinely exposed to when they see others their age doing drugs / alcohol.

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