Dating this man 4 years. He is 75, good health. Gets angry and defensive at me frequently. Blames me for upsetting him. Not up to me to get him evaluated, he has close family. Is my only other alternative to not see him any more??

You asked this question ... Didn't like the answers ... So asked it again.

Stop being a whiny cry-baby and grow a spine.
By continuing to tolerate this behavior for FOUR YEARS, you only have yourself to blame that it continues.

Be direct---ask him to stop making such comments about others to you because it upsets you---that is not too much to ask, regardless of his age.

While I can understand you may want to have him evaluated, it is simply not your place to attempt to have that done.

You could suggest couples counseling, however.

Personally, I would think that trying to retrofit a 75 year old antique auto would be a better as a hobby rather than a actual way of life.

I'd suggest getting his blood pressure checked. Next up, diabetes.

Maybe he is dying and knows he is dying and dont want to tell you about it so he is acting this way in hopes you will leave him. In his weird sense of mindset this is easier for you then watching him die.

Actually from the tone I am reading in this question, it is best you quit dating him. It seems you don't actually care about him. If you did you would be talking to his family about his outbursts, or finding a way to get him evaluated for mental or other health issues. You would at least be going on line and researching symptoms and not here asking if you should stop dating him. Frankly this question and the previous one makes it seem that you are only looking out for yourself and not someone you should have some feelings for. If I had invested 4 years of my life in someone, I would be trying to help them.

If this behavior is recent, a conversation would be in order first.

Bob, it seems when you get upset, you end up lashing out at me. I do enjoy your company, however, I am getting stressed by this recent behavior of yours. Is there anything in particular that has gotten you so stressed that you are lashing out?

If this behavior is NOT recent, it's always been this way, then I'm flummoxed as to why you would accept it as normal.

You say that you've been with him for 4 years, but feel it's his family's responsibility to take care of his medical needs. I'm a little surprised that you would brush this off on them when you've invested 4 years of your life with him.