Is it wrong to stay with a woman for the kids? Even though you have lost passion for each other?


6 Answers

Moga Deet Profile
Moga Deet answered

"Lost passion" can be part of the normal progress of a relationship.  Having kids is stressful and the marital relationship may improve again. If you are fighting all the time, irritable, simmering with resentment, etc. Try counselling.  If the kids are young and the marriage seems unfixable, divorce might be best.  If the kids are older (middle school and up), divorce can be devastating for children.

Rooster Cogburn Profile
Rooster Cogburn , Rooster Cogburn, answered

Kind of depends on what kind of man you are. If you are honorable and love your kids, then Yes, stay with them till they are grown up so they can have a happy life. Get along with your woman as best you can without a bunch of arguing and such. Please do it for the kids and just maybe that spark will return in time. Passion and love are two different things. Think of those kids before yourself. Capisce'?

Jann Nikka Profile
Jann Nikka answered

That's a tough on. I would  try  first, couples and individual counseling and see how that work before you give up on it.  If however there's no passion it and your relationship  cannot be fixed then amicable and peaceful divorce is probably the answer. I would also talk with the children before I divorce let them know that you and mommy are no longer going to be together and try to make it as peaceful as possible. 

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

Losing passion is one thing, being in a relationship where there is constant bickering and arguing is another. If it is just a lost of passion, but you still care for each other, you can try counselling and try bringing the passion back. If you have passed that tipping point and are fighting constantly, it would be better to move out. No one wants to live in a battlefield. I say that as a child of divorce.

dragonfly forty-six Profile

If passion is the only thing missing then yes it would be wrong to leave. Passion for your partner should not affect the stability of your home. Marriage or a partnership is always difficult, it becomes even more so when you add kids to the equation.

People do not understand how hard and how much a toll having children has on a relationship. No one is sleeping, you have kids in your bed. There is a kid to be running after from the time they open their eyes until they go to sleep. Then parents spend time cleaning and preparing for the next round of taking care of the kid(s). Where is the passion in that? How can you feel passion when you are both exhausted and busy? Find the time to put more effort in the relationship. If your partner is not responding than help your partner with the day to day operations. Don't blame your partner for lack of passion. It's your fault too. Instead of wasting time blaming take the time to help each other out. Nothing sexier than my man having my back when the going is tough. Make it work. The passion will return.

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

My parents stayed together because of us five kids. Let me tell you, it was hell. My mom had no sense of decorum - she picked fights with everyone all the time. It was readily apparent that she didn't even like my dad - we were all wondering why she got married to him if she didn't even like him.

But, she had five kids with him; they didn't get divorced until I was 19. There were three kids left at home then.  We were all damaged because they stayed together when they shouldn't have.

My advice is that if you don't want to divorce while there are kids at home, don't make life a living hell for anyone. You chose to stay; make the best of it. Get counseling if you need to.  Think of what the kids need - think of what your spouse needs and work with that.

Answer Question