Anonymous

I insensitively but unintentionally teased a best friend about having too much to drink the day before. She did not appreciate it. I felt so bad I cried and apologized repeatedly. I still feel terrible. What to do?

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Frederick Fisk Profile
Frederick Fisk answered

Well, be open, explain why you did it (thought it would be funny etc), and overall, talk about it. If you let it stay unresolved, the problem might act as a rift in your relationship.

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Jeanne Gore
Jeanne Gore commented
Another thing...she has been recovering from a terrible fall a year ago, and is doing well. She does, however have regular physical therapy after which she experiences pain the day after. She supports herself with a cane when she goes out. At one point that day, she stumbled against a chair at the bar where we were and lost her balance. Another friend and I kept her from going down. I thought nothing of it. I'm sure that embarrassed her even more. I want her to know that her stumbling was not the part I was teasing her about. That was her leg giving out under her. I also had not known that she had taken a pain pill that morning and that she was drinking on an empty stomach. It seems that she and her husband had planned on only staying a short time and wee going home for an early dinner. Well, he got talking with the guys and they stayed and drank for two or three hours. I hadn't known that until her text the following day. I guess I missed the subtlety of her comments and made more little silly comments of my own. Can you see now why I feel so insensitive and crude? She wanted to close this subject, but I still do not. There is no way I can justify what I did, but I need to at explain it further is she will listen.
Frederick Fisk
Frederick Fisk commented
I get it, Jeanne. :) Sounds quite complicated. But hey, people are complicated! I do hope somebody else manages to pitch in, too. I'm probably too young to be giving life advice, haha.
Jeanne Gore
Jeanne Gore commented
Thanks for everything. I don't care how young somebody is because the young also have wisdom.
Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

This is called a life lesson.

You've apologized to your friend, now let it go. When someone goes on and on about how bad they feel, it makes the situation even worse.

This is your conscience speaking which is good. Some people don't have a conscience so when something bad happens, they don't even flinch.  So do everyone a favor and drop it. I believe that the next time you feel like spouting off something, that you're going to think before you say something, which means that you've learned a good lesson from what has happened.

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