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Is it against girl code to hook up with your best friend's ex?

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Lia Tan Profile
Lia Tan answered

Well the "girl code" isn't some universal thing that all girls abide to so it really depends on your friendships. But as a general thing, it's probably safe to not hook up with your best friend's ex hook up not because I said so or because a girl code said so, but because you care about your friend and you wouldn't want your friend to get hurt. Unless you've asked your best friend if she'd be okay with it and she said sure, don't go for this guy because you could risk hurting your friend.

One thing that kinda bugged me was when one of my friends who I used to be really good friends with would go after almost all the guys I liked or hooked up with. More often than not, she would be more successful in seducing them and I ended up being "the female friend all the guys want to have." It was really annoying and even though it didn't hurt me all that much, it just proved to me that this friend isn't really a good friend because she was being rather inconsiderate to our friendship.

That's why no, don't hook up with this guy until you talk about this to your best friend. Yes you have the right to hook up with whoever you want, but if you want to be considered as a good and considerate friend, you'd put your friend's feelings into account. And you guys are best friend, so you should be able to bring this up easily to each other. If not, then maybe you aren't as close of friends as you think you are...

Beth Leivers Profile
Beth Leivers answered

Although there is no official girl code, unless you have your best friends blessing, it would generally be considered to go against the girl code if you hook up with your best friend's ex.

The girl code is all about putting girlfriends before boyfriends. The reason it might be considered to go against the girl code is because it is likely that hooking up with your best friend's ex will hurt her feelings, and make her feel uncomfortable.

Regardless of any code, however, I'd advise against going for any of your best friend's ex's. To help understand why, it might be helpful to imagine if the tables were turned, and imagine how you'd feel if your best friend hooked up with your ex.

If you value your friendship, and don't want to lose a friend, the best thing to do is to stay clear of her ex's. Even if she's given you permission, she may only be doing so out of kindness, and there may still be consequences.

She could become more distant, or resentful if the relationship develops... not to mention all the awkwardness if the three of you end up hanging out or spending time together.

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