There's no easy answer here. Relationships are complex unions, and there could be a number of reasons why he acts this way.
The one women tend to jump to first is that he is cheating. True, men that cheat often turn cold and lose interest in their spouses, but there could be other things at play here. And even cheating has motives that are deeper. Sometimes.
If you ask me, love is standing the test of time. It's easy to be excited about a relationship when passion is high, but if you can keep the bond strong throughout the years, then that is a powerful thing.
The other point to remember is that relationships are a bit like a business transaction. The deal has to make sense for both parties. You need to have a balance of things that you want out of being with someone, and things that you are willing to give back in return.
The most common example with us guys being sex.
Now I'm not commenting on your relationship, and I apologize for sounding brash - but I was previously in a relationship where the woman withheld sex from me because she felt I wasn't showing her enough attention. Using sex as a tool to manipulate men only works when we're in college. As we get older we start to think differently.
But you're now thinking of exiting. That's fine. If you're both unhappy, what's wrong with that? It's a tough decision. A brave one. And you will need support. But if it is really the best option, then do it.
But if you have doubts and think things could be salvaged, then the most beneficial thing you can do is reboot. Start afresh. Take the situation into your hands. Do something drastic. If you're planning to leave anyway, what have you got to lose?
Tell him you're fed up of how things are and you want to have fun like the good old days. Then do something unexpected. Go out drinking together like college kids. Fire up the car and go on a road trip. Heck, take him to a strip bar or something. Obviously don't do anything illegal or anything you're not comfortable with - it has to be genuine. But give him a reminder of what it is that got you guys in this mess in the first place.
I took my wife on a trip to Vegas. We had a blast. Things were good for a while again, then they started turning sour. That's when I realized the ride was over. And we had memories and good times to look back at. But most important , I tried my best.
