What Do You Value Most In A Friend?


16 Answers

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
  • Having shared interests and the same faith
  • Being able to trust that person
  • Someone who looks out for me and tells me(tactfully) when I make mistakes
  • Someone who allows me space and does not want to own me
  • Someone warm and friendly who does not hold grudges or is easily offended
  • Someone who is honest
  • Someone who treats me with respect
  • Someone well-liked by others
  • Someone with high moral values
  • Someone who builds me up and does not tear me down
A tall order, do you think?

Well, I know someone who has these virtues I hope that through prolonged association I to will be able to cultivate them in myself.
thanked the writer.
Robyn Rothman
Robyn Rothman commented
What do you mean by the "same faith"? I'm really interested in knowing, because if you are referring to religion, I heartily disagree.

I hope your friend helps you cultivate the qualities you mention, because you're lucky to know someone like that.
Anonymous commented
By same faith i mean some one who share my religious beliefs. However in some cases it applies to my vegan lifestyle. I find I relate better to those whose values i share.
Michelle New Zealand Profile
That you can talk to that person, and know that whatever happens, they will never reveal your secret conversations to anybody else. They will take it with them to their grave. 

This is very rare. There are not a lot of people you can trust like that in this world, not even your friends.  I had a friend like that.  She knew things about me that up until today, I've never even told my husband.  I trusted her completely.  She died of cancer a year ago. 
That was the one and only person I ever completely trust to be able to tell her my deepest secrets and knew that she would keep them to herself.  That, to me, is a true friend - and that is what I value most in a friendship. They might not be able to solve your problems but by listening and maybe give advice they can still help a lot.
thanked the writer.
Robyn Rothman
Robyn Rothman commented
I empathize with you over the loss of your friend. I also lost my best friend to cancer, and she was the same kind of person you describe. Yes, they are rare, but you never know. There may be another out there somewhere. Thank you so much for sharing. It must have been difficult for you.
Michelle New Zealand
Thank you and yes it was very difficult and sometimes it still is.
Robyn Rothman
Robyn Rothman commented
After 14 years, it's still hard for me. But life goes on, and someday you may find another. Never despair.
Rena Chisholm Profile
Rena Chisholm answered
I value a friend who will laugh with me, keep all my secrets, love me in spite of all my faults, defend me, and have my back when the fight breaks out! 
Chris ???? Profile
Chris ???? answered
Loyalty is a trait that I see as invaluable and is a curio in life. A plethora of friends I have had in my life and only a few remain by my side. One can be mendacious, cheat, and plunder but if faithfulness remains adamant, I will still consider them near irreplaceable. There are other many other wonderful traits, mind you. Nevertheless, fidelity is extremely scarce making it worth being sought for.
thanked the writer.
Robyn Rothman
Robyn Rothman commented
I think I also admire loyalty the most. To have someone who will never desert you under any circumstances is truly special.
Anonymous commented
My lovely Zexion. I completely agree, having lived a quite long life experiencing both.

(And such a literary student., you are. But may I most gently note as your elder that a trait may not be adamant---a trait may be predominant and enduring, but only a person or object with will may be adamant, for it implies there is will to be so.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Loyalty and honesty make a great friend. Especially the honesty part - sometimes you want to ask opinions, and to me, the BEST friends will be honest even if it might hurt. The best friends don't just tell you what YOU want to hear.
Zashara Douglas Profile
Zashara Douglas answered
What I most value in a friend is that no matter what happens. If you lose contact and reconnect, or if there are a lot of changes going on in your individual lives...the relationship stays the same. You can always count on that person.
cooper shannon Profile
cooper shannon answered
I can forgive or over look just about anything....except lying...I don't care what about..I always need the truth, if my friends or relatives can not provide me with the simple truth I have no time for them.
Christina Madera Profile
Trustworthiness and the ability to talk things over with me if we hit a rough spot. Also supportiveness but trust first and foremost.
Kool Profile
Kool answered
That they will always be there for you. They understand and accept you for who you are. And of course, they love you :)

  1. loyalty

  2. honesty (even if brutal)

  3. humor

  4. understanding

  5. trustworthiness

That is a rather short list, huh?
tinga nih Profile
tinga nih answered
What I value most.. Not just for a friend but to every person is being TRUE.. I love frank people.. Honest..  I want a friend who would tell me that I suck at this and that.. And friend who would tell me I look so ridiculous,I act stup*d.. I want to hear negative things about myself.. For I want to be a better person.. A friend that I know everything comes from the heart .. Not just because he/she want to makes you feel good but he/she really mean it... =D I just want to meet a friend who love himself.. And I would just accept each difference.. =D
Penny Kay Profile
Penny Kay answered
I look for a good heart, and a sense of humor. Loyalty and values similar to my own. Similar interests are a good quality to look for in a friend, and someone who seems open to friendship. I like positive, funny people.
Lily Bradic Profile
Lily Bradic answered

For me, shared interests and sense of humour are incredibly valuable in a friendship. Other things are important too, of course!

I don't exactly look for particular qualities in a friend, but I value my closest friends for the following reasons:

  • We make each other laugh
  • We can talk about anything
  • We can tease each other and wind each other up and don't have to worry about offending each other
  • They respect that I need my own space sometimes, and are there for me when I'm ready to socialise again. True friends are always there, whereas some friends are what I'd describe as 'seasonal' - they're there when you're up for having fun, but you don't hear from them when you're down.
  • We enjoy the same things - be it music, literature, movies or activities.
  • We don't need a reason to contact one another - a text message about something stupid that we think the other person would find amusing is totally normal.
  • Shared experiences. These come from being friends with someone for a long time, and help to build a strong friendship.
  • Loyalty and honesty. For example, when I was thinking of sharing a house with a (good) mutual friend and two girls I didn't really know, my best friend told me I was making a mistake, because despite knowing how desperate I was to move out of where I was living at the time, she knew I would hate living with these people. She knew it wasn't what I wanted to hear, but she told me anyway, and I really respect her for doing so.
  • Feeling comfortable with organising a spontaneous meet-up. For example, being able to call someone and ask if they want to come over and hang out right then, because you're bored and fancy some company. You can do this with your real friends, but with "sort-of" friends, it's a bit awkward.
  • Knowing you'll both help each other out in a crisis, if it comes down to it. I left my wallet at my boyfriend's once, and my friend paid for my taxi, gave me some money, and then we spent several hours studying over a bottle of wine.  She knew I'd pay her back, and she knew I'd do the same for her. I think that kind of trust is really important in a friendship.
  • Being completely comfortable with them turning up at my house when my hair's a mess and I'm wearing some strange combination of clothes (huge hoodie and pajama-shorts spring to mind!)
Every friendship is different, but for me, all the best ones feature the best qualities. I guess it varies from person to person, though!

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
The same thing as with family: That she listens and I also get to listen, that she has such character that she is with me in thick and thin, in life and even after.  My best friend  is with me because of her heart, words and loving spirit.

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