How Do You Move Past Family Rejection?

I can complete emphathize with this. Both of my sisters are on a social networking site with me, and they list each other as sister but I am not listed as a sibling.   From the time I was 3 I felt not really accepted by them. As I grew up and moved out into the family I started with my husband I carried with me that pain of rejection.    The older sister has blocked me on facebook. She was the one that never really could see me. The younger one, who sought her approval, basically at best, has been polite with me.

Yet people that I count as my best friends tell me that I am a sweet person. It is VERY easy to blame yourself for the rejection.   It is not easy to recognize that you are a victim of that person's hostility.

I never received pictures of my daughter's familys, save a very few, less than 5 fingers on one hand, 5 pictures in 20 years.   Recently I was at my mom's house. She is elderly.  She has TONS of pictures. It hurt me to look at them.  I found her one day, muttering about their lack of love for me and tossing their pictures into the trash. I scooped them out to send to them.  It was then I knew that there is nothing I can do to change this and everything I can do to believe that the problem is with my sisters.

Then comes the crystal clear moment. Stop the fight. Give up.   Let the box of recovered pictures get sent to older sister. Let go and put her into your past and move on.

We who have been affected by this, sometimes we think it's us. It's not. It's them.

Stand strong chin up and know that if we, the rejected daughters and sisters, could find one another in time and space, we would immediately choose one another as sisters. Thank you for, in a esteem uplifting moment, for being my spiritual sister in solidarity - against rejection and unkindness. I wish I had you as a real sister because if  you care about them, you are definitely someone that anyone would be lucky to have you as a sister.

LN

First of all, how horrible that they said that. IBut the best thing you can do is focus on those who are reciprocally meaningful in your life. I recently have been rejected a lot by my younger sister, which hurts so much, especially since in popular culture and media, the family is often portrayed as this bedrock you can rely on. Not so in real life! It's sad, and I find myself circling again and again to that pain of family rejection. I think the best is to realize that it happens to so many of us and just to focus on those who are kind in return and who appreciate who you are. Those are the friendships that are worth the most.

No, exactly how you feel ,guess you just hope and pray that someday they'll want to be in your life. After my dad died years ago my step mother just ceased to keep in touch .I do have a half sister, I kept trying to find them and I wrote every week for years until1990 then I gave up, then I found a phone number again 17 years later and called heard all the malarcy of we need to stay in touch . So gave them e-mail ,phone ,mailing address, even e-mailed them,haven't heard a thing and that was three years ago and to add insult to injury they have me on their reject list for my e-mails now. So don't take it personal and do what you can do and move on,someday maybe it'll change. One more thing I grew up with her as my mother and her kids as my brother and sisters.

I think you should write a letter saying how excited you are about your upcoming wedding and that it would make the day perfect if your birth family could be there to share your joy. If they can't realize how important this day is to you and let go of whatever resentments they have then you do not need them there. Leave the door open but DO NOT take their actions personally. It says something about them. Maybe they will realize what they are missing and have a change of heart and if they do then welcome them with open arms. Some family members are not really very good people and can disappoint you over and over. If this is what happens then you put this part of your life aside. Don't say things in anger or even let them spoil one moment of your big day. Remember, friends are the family you chose for yourself! Fill your life with loving friends who will be there for you no matter what. There are really good people in this world.

My brother has chosen his second wife and her family over his own family.   We drove to his step-daughters wedding only to be referred to as an witch and a buthead.  We heard my brothers second wife - be nice because we will never see them again.  Is it because they are wife rich,  (well my brother is )  my sister-inlaw is a gold digger.  It hurts my mom who lives with me.  My brother sent his stepchildren to the best schools in the country while his own children had to attend community colleges and state schools. How do you get over the pain?  At my brothers daughter wedding, she had to beg and plead for money and gave her $25,000/ his step daughter got a $350,000 wedding and only had to ask once.