It never gets better but it does get easier with time, hang in there Megan you're going to be okay.
Megan, February 20 , 2020 made it 39 years since my father passed away. And at times it still seems like yesterday. I still miss him. You never stop missing someone.
Like Willie and Lard Ass said, it does get easier and never let go of the good memories. Friends and family help us through the tough times. It helps talking about it. That's when the good memories seem to surface.
Please don't make the mistake of putting a "time limit" on grief. That will do more harm then good. You gotta take each day at a time and go through the motions. Those emotions sound like you are getting to the phase where the numbness is wearing off and the reality is beginning to surface. 😔 I am so sorry Megan. It hurts right now. It's gonna hurt for a while... But it won't always hurt like this. Keep reaching out to us my friend like you have been doing. You have a wonderful little support system here. It's like you have your own special "grief group." BUT if any of these feelings get out of hand or you feel like hurting yourself PLEASE seek professional help! Please!
Just try and remember the good times you had with him and smile. Time heals a lot but always keep your best memories of him alive in your heart.
The pain will become less intense and less frequently in your conscious awareness, but your loss is a very real injury to your person---and serious injuries always do take a long time to heal.
And you may well have instances in the future where the pain is temporarily as intense as it ever was.
But, yes, it will get better.
You are always going to miss him, some days more than others. But he is really always with you, in your heart. I know some people don't believe if afterlife, but I do. I believe our loved ones who have passed watch over us. And that they hear us when we talk to them.