I am a long time member of Blurtit and I am very saddened to see a recent growth of negative comments towards others who are seeking postitve advice. We need to help each other out with kind words. Has my little Blurtit family noticed this lately?

There are a lot of long time users called Anonymous. Which one are you?

The only time I've seen some of those comments have been under questions where the user has asked the same question several times and ignored the great and positive advice from the first several times. Other than that, these people are great! That's why I came back after being gone for several months. :)

Are you referring to something specific?

I can think of a couple of times it's happened, but only a couple. I've also noticed a couple of comments in bad taste from one or two young boys. But I think the general friendly standard is still the same as ever.

If you're a long time user? You should have used your username and you would have gotten better answers possibly.

Yes, there has been some rudeness here and there but I myself do not tolerate much of it. It's OK to have a difference of opinion as that's life and there will always be some negative comments but I haven't seen that many and we will step in and take care of any problems before they escalate. 99% of the answers and comments are positive and many like to joke around and throw some good hearted humor also. If you would like to name a couple of specifics? I would be glad to address them. Otherwise? I see no problems.

I personally have been deeply hurt by some negative comments recently. I am refining my scowl downwards as a consequence.

I am even considering stopping smiling.

You can tell how upset I am.

I have not. 

You need to give an example or say you're unhappy with a comment made towards you, that you didn't like. Maybe you got answers you didn't like and now you want to complain anonymously. 

Who's to say the answer given was not positive and you judged it otherwise. 

Update.... Anonymous, I will still post my thoughts on your questions according to my own nonsense LOL. 

There will always be some rudeness no matter where you go (its life).. But thankfully it doesn't happen often on blurtit and we have good moderators who will take care of such stuff right away if you report it!! Or they see it..

Often times, answers that conflict with what the asker is expecting to hear, can certainly seem negative. IN this regard it is good to understand that members can differ greatly in their perspective world views. While this may cause a bit of "Friction" in the discussion, it is by all means a good balance and creates more well rounded answers when one considers and respects the many points of view and opinions given. 

Dear Anonymous,

I am glad you brought this question, and I actually think your question is better anonymously, because it does represent many of us who are regular users here.

I definitely think many answers/comments here are unnecessarily negative recently; people can use the Internet as a duckblind to vent their own rage by assaulting others. However, Blurt gives me the opportunity to look at myself, to reflect my own negativity and move toward a center of wisdom. This is an opportunity of great value to me.

The excellent moderation tries to give us all maximum flexibility, and that means not every episode of rudeness, rage or aggression gets challenged. That we are adults and teens, and responsible for ourselves.

Blurt is magnificently better than most, again because of the conscientious moderation, and it can be better still as we users take responsibility to improve this site and ourselves.

And in that spirit of improving the site, I truly thank you for bringing the question. 

* * *

# Here is one tip I have learned; if you see something you think could hurt someone, you can actually message one of the moderators, and they might just contact the person and inquire directly whether they were hurt by the comment.

I dunno - most of the stuff I read on here isn't rude or off-putting.  A couple of the discussions over religion might have invoked name calling, but it didn't bother me. 

Here's a test question:  "I have been unemployed for the last 2 years and my family is now about to be homeless. I have my doctorate in chemistry and am constantly told that I am overqualified when I go on interviews.  Would you consider me a immoral person if I established a meth lab to provide for my family and provide the money needed for my middle child's heart transplant?"

Now don't assume I'm kidding; give me the benefit of the doubt---and remember, what I am thinking of doing may well negatively affect your relatives that live by me. 

And above all, don't give me a bunch of negative comments.  What I need is positive advice.

And don't answer based on that "tough love" concept.

(When I answered that question recently about not choosing any Blurtit members to staff the government, one of the reasons I gave was that many of us are hesitant to inflict pain, even when it might be necessary.)

I admit some people are blunt with their answers but they also are taking their time out of their day to give you an honest answer (even if it hurts a bit). But sometimes you have to be told something the hard way to understand the situation and get control of it. If people always told me nice things and I was never criticized, I wouldn't have learned anything in life haha.

I had a recent post about my boyfriend leaving for a trip and I got some answers I did not want to hear but it really did help! Gave me some clarity and made me think of things in another way. This website has really helped me :)

AND this website is pretty good for criticizing compared to some others I have seen!