Anonymous

Is it okay to blame your over protective parents, for you being an introvert and having a lack of confidence?

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8 Answers

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

At some point, there comes a time in everyone's life where they step up to the plate and modify or change behaviors / thinking from what they grew up with to what they feel they should be.

Sure, you can "blame" your parents all you want, but it doesn't solve anything.

If you want to become less shy, then work on talking to people you don't know. Make small talk to anyone around you while you're waiting in line. Read books, magazines, newspaper, online forums so you have things to talk about.

Do one thing every day that you haven't done before. Don't get discouraged when you fail at it. Just pick yourself up and try again.

Playing the blame game doesn't solve anything - it just keeps you in the victim mentality.

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

Up to a certain point, sure. But once you have recognized the problem it is up to you to fix it. Join a hobby class or a club to meet people with similar likes. That can be an ice breaker to meeting  new people and building confidence. A lot of introverts join drama classes. The figure if they can at least learn to act like they are outgoing.

Michael Poland Profile
Michael Poland answered


You choose your own path and no one,

can choose it for you.

In the future you will be the parent.

Remember how you felt in the past.

Zack -  Mr. GenXer Profile

How about accepting responsibility for your actions or in this case inactions?

Barb Cala Profile
Barb Cala answered

It's OK to wish they would have encouraged you to be more outgoing .. But at some point, you have to realize what YOU want in life and go after it.  If you want to be more outgoing .. Make it happen. 

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Absolutely---if you have a reasonably accurate assessment of their role in influencing you to become introverted.

And yes, over-protective parents can unfortunately have a negative affect on self confidence (and not just because they are over-protective.)  Once again, how did their over-protection influence your self confidence?

One of the things a young person must do before they can function on their own is to learn that they can stand up to adults and survive.

Over-protective parents sometimes don't let their children engage in certain controversial activities or disagreements where they can gain that self confidence.

It would be great if you could get some professional counseling to help you become more "other directed" (extroverted) and to gain self confidence.

And don't be in a rush to forgive your parents for what they may have done wrong.  While they may have done it unintentionally from lack of knowledge or to minimize their own anxiety in raising you, you are the one who was harmed by things.  You were worth more than that and you have to recover from that.  As you heal and get well, you will be able to forgive them more easily.

Perry Nuttal Profile
Perry Nuttal answered

You can, but it won't change things for you, that requires action, i.e doing what you fear.  Most people are afraid, just some are better at conquering it.  A life that isn't littered with mistakes, is one that is unlived.

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