Anonymous

There's this guy that I really like and I wanna ask him out, but I know that my mum won't approve since she says he's a bad influence on me because he swears. What do I do?!

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5 Answers

Barb Cala Profile
Barb Cala answered

How old are you?  If you're an adult, you can choose to date who you please.  But if you're still a teen living with your parents ... You might want to respect their opinions.  Maybe there's more to her not liking him than just his choice of vocabulary.

Cindy  Lou Profile
Cindy Lou answered

How does she know he swears? If she knows that,  I am sure she knows more than that about him. 

What qualities does he have that would make him a good friend? Because you should choose to first date people that would make a friend. Does he help people he doesn't know? Does he help his parents around the house without being told to?

How are is grades? Is he failing school and does he care about his future? All of these things will tell you how he'll treat you. Maybe your mom sees these things and knows if someone doesn't care about themselves and others, they won't care much about you and they'll treat you poorly.

Maybe your mom sees that. Moms know when someone has a strong potential to hurt you, and that's what she worried about.

I am sure there's more to it, and thing is, your mom is just trying to help you learn who to date and who not to date while you're learning about boys.

Or she could just look away and not care. Do you want a mom who cares and tries to help you along the way? Or one who says, "do what you want and ruin your life ...doesn't matter to me". Lots of kids have those type parents you know.

Do you really think your mom is caring for you because  she's bored? No, it's because she loves you.  It's hard work being a mom, and maybe she's trying to keep you from being a mom yourself sooner than you should be.

Anyway, just some things to think about. I am sure you'll do the right thing.

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

I enjoy Richard Prior's comedy and of course you probably know he likes to use a certain word---usually in every other sentence.

Interestingly enough, Toastmasters occasionally has someone in the audience count how man times you say "uh" when you are practicing giving speeches---the less times, the better the speech.

I now find his performances too tedious to sit through because of his overuse of cursing---I already know the punchlines, so the cursing has become too distracting.

So his cursing may not be an issue now, but it may well be later.

You will be attracted to many others in the future.  If you don't date him, you probably won't miss anything significant.

There's an old saying: If you have a good job, but a bad boss, you don't really have a good job.

An equivalent saying might be,  If you have a great boyfriend, but other people don't think you do, there's a good possibility that your boyfriend is not really as great as you think he is.

thanked the writer.
PJ Stein
PJ Stein commented
I agree with what you are saying, but I doubt anyone who needs their mom's approval to date someone, even knows who Richard Pryor is.

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