I'm a 23 y.o., female dentist. Met a guy who loves me, intelligent and pushes me to be the best. But isn't very ambitious career wise, has outbursts, and he smokes and drinks like a fish which worries me. Am I being shallow?

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5 Answers

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

If you are ambitious and you are with someone who isn't, things tend not to work out. Resentment often creeps in. Why should you do all the work and they not help? It isn't being shallow it is being compatible.

Firstname Refreshme lastname Profile

I agree with Gator Blu. These faults will only become magnified as time goes on. The outbursts shows that he has anger issues that he has trouble dealing with or its the alcohol. Either way, I say thumbs down.

dragonfly forty-six Profile

No, not shallow at all. I would be concerned too.

I would want a true partner. Someone I am compatible with in every way. What does your gut say? Who is making you feel like your concerns are invalid or you're being shallow?

Do not EVER settle. You hold out for a partner who doesn't concern you in this way. You deserve more. This is important, so listen very carefully. Who he is now is EXACTLY who he will be in 1 year or in 10. HE WILL NOT CHANGE FOR YOU. YOUR LOVE WILL NOT SAVE HIM.

If you can live with who he is at this time then that's on you. It's all about what you are willing to live with and put up with.

Didge Doo Profile
Didge Doo answered

Run!

The guy is not only a loser, he sounds like a user. There are better men for you than this.

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Well, if you want a man who smells like a dirty ashtray, will probably die of cirrhosis of the liver, and who may shortly start abusing you, I'd get off the internet and go over to his house and beg him to marry you tomorrow.

But if not...

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