Marriage is both wonderful and tricky.
Many of us are married to our best friend.
But real intimacy in a marriage is rarely polite because we are constantly exposing the core of what we are to our mates, and it can be difficult to maintain the proper amount of respect and regard for our mate while we dealing with those core issues and also sometimes fighting to be heard without being judged.
I once asked a female friend of mine to lunch. She was closely involved with a male friend of mine, but she was really what I will call "down to earth" practical.
Long story short, my intent was to better understand adult women of my age and I got my Masters in the subject before dessert arrived.
It was a truly enlightening and clarifying experience.
I was not married at the time. Depending on the relationship you have with your spouse, it might work.
But if you wind up needing more than just insight into your situation, I would highly suggest a professional counselor.