Why do some good friends seem to run from you when you have a loss in your life?

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5 Answers

Moga Deet Profile
Moga Deet answered

I think people just don't what to say or do.  So they just avoid the situation.  They know that there isn't really anything they can do to fix your situation.  Until they have been through a difficult time, they won't understand that just listening is a big help to a person in distress.

Rooster Cogburn Profile
Rooster Cogburn , Rooster Cogburn, answered

Because they don't really want to face the facts and are too wrapped up in their own lives to bother with yours. Sad, but true fact. It's during these times that you really know who your true friends are and who is just a part time friend. Some people just don't like to face reality when things like this happen. I'm sorry for your loss.

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Ravin Local
Ravin Local commented
Thank you. I know you're right, but you expect more from a best friend. I hope you're well. Thanks again.
Rooster Cogburn
Rooster Cogburn commented
I've been doing OK and Yes ! I would expect a lot more from a best friend!
Ancient Hippy Profile
Ancient Hippy answered

They don't know what to say, don't know how to act, can't look you in the eye, don't know whether to smile or not...the easiest thing for them to do is to just avoid you. It seems cowardly but it's just human nature.

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Ravin Local
Ravin Local commented
I understand, but I expected better from my best friend. That's the only one that really hurt. I'll get over it though. You betcha! Thank you! :)
Ancient Hippy
Ancient Hippy commented
Sorry to hear that Ravin. Give her some time.
dragonfly forty-six Profile

When my father died I wondered the same thing. It was like people didn't know what to say or do around me. Almost like my loss was a contagious disease. Because of that treatment when I was only 24, I vowed that when it came to death I would always be honest. I thought that had someone said, "I just don't know what to say or do for you." That that was far better than to act like my heart had not just been ripped out of my chest. Death is a difficult thing, people don't like being uncomfortable. It's sad but true. Wait until those same people want to know why you aren't over your loss yet. Even though it's only been a month or two or a year. Ignore them, they are idiots. When they suffer a devastating loss remember what was done to you and do for them that which was not done for you.

I've missed you Ravin Local. I'm so sorry for your loss.



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dragonfly forty-six
A month after my daddy passed my best friend who had not been there for me asked why I was still grieving. Told me to get over "it". I thanked her and moved on. 7 months later her own daddy died. I was there for it all. I never begrudged her treatment of me. One day a few months after her loss she called me and said, "I'm so sorry for what I did, I just didn't know."
Ravin Local
Ravin Local commented
Thank you. I suppose some people just don't get it till it happens to them. I won't hold a grudge, but it hurts.
Ravin Local
Ravin Local commented
I've missed you too. :)

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