I think after the amount of time that has gone by and seeing and hearing some of the things between you two, that it would be best to move on with your life. I think you should continue to like the new boy and put your all into that. I like Ben but he's 18 now and looking at life a little differently. Give your new boy a chance to show you what he has to offer you with emotions. You're young and they will come and go. Good luck with the new boy. You deserve some happiness.