Dear,
I had a similar problem with a gilr I met at my job; she is changing her life after a divorce, problems with family, new work.. Everytime she would call me she would ask: Is eceryting ok with you and I would say yes; as soon she will start complaning about her situation, vitimize herself along all conversation; she would call me everytime she felt alone, she would call me... Even at 11 pm she would call me just to talk about her happenings.. The situation came to a point that I could not stand it anymore... Completely drained off.. She used to say that she liked to speak to me because I make her laugh, ok, good for me, but am I a clown? Do I serve only to be a ear to all complaining, all the on going problems, never ending that even she created for herself? Isn't this a lack of respect for you, as she only looks for you for you to listen to her problems or make her laugh??? Get a life, sorry to say.. If I try to solve my problems and not undermine my friends with my problems, why should I have yours on my should all the time??? I accept to hear to problems from my friends but not feeding a behaviour that it undermines by spirit.. Of course it came the time we had to have a conversation and I told her that I would like to have fun with her and not only to listen to her speaking always about problems.. Of course the reaction was not good: She considered I was like betraying her as all other people do, that she just needed someone to listen to and so on; and I said that our relationship was not an equal one... I gave much more to her and she did not have the time to be with me ony for the fun, without always talking about the same problems,... And you know what happened: She stop calling me and the surprising thing here is that I do not miss to talk to her.. Its strange to reach this conclusion but it is the way I feel.. I did not understood that I was creating this kind of destructive relationship that it was not positive for me.. I hope to see the signals if it happens again with someone else
I had a similar problem with a gilr I met at my job; she is changing her life after a divorce, problems with family, new work.. Everytime she would call me she would ask: Is eceryting ok with you and I would say yes; as soon she will start complaning about her situation, vitimize herself along all conversation; she would call me everytime she felt alone, she would call me... Even at 11 pm she would call me just to talk about her happenings.. The situation came to a point that I could not stand it anymore... Completely drained off.. She used to say that she liked to speak to me because I make her laugh, ok, good for me, but am I a clown? Do I serve only to be a ear to all complaining, all the on going problems, never ending that even she created for herself? Isn't this a lack of respect for you, as she only looks for you for you to listen to her problems or make her laugh??? Get a life, sorry to say.. If I try to solve my problems and not undermine my friends with my problems, why should I have yours on my should all the time??? I accept to hear to problems from my friends but not feeding a behaviour that it undermines by spirit.. Of course it came the time we had to have a conversation and I told her that I would like to have fun with her and not only to listen to her speaking always about problems.. Of course the reaction was not good: She considered I was like betraying her as all other people do, that she just needed someone to listen to and so on; and I said that our relationship was not an equal one... I gave much more to her and she did not have the time to be with me ony for the fun, without always talking about the same problems,... And you know what happened: She stop calling me and the surprising thing here is that I do not miss to talk to her.. Its strange to reach this conclusion but it is the way I feel.. I did not understood that I was creating this kind of destructive relationship that it was not positive for me.. I hope to see the signals if it happens again with someone else