Honestly you people are crazy... Everyone woman wanted equal rights.. Now that they have it its like they think they rule the world... If two people chose to sleep together doesn't necessarily mean that they want kids together... Obviously they talked about it and decided for the best for both of them to get an abortion... But like he said SHE decided otherwise.. How is that his fault... I mean I can see if he wants to be in the child's life... But if not you can't force someone to be a father... And calling him a dead beat or a low life.. Or step up and be a man... He did when the mistake was made... Why didn't she step up and be a woman an realize that having a baby with a man who doesn't want to be there is not the right answer.. And forcing him to do something that he isn't going to put his heart into isn't right in either case... Why do people seem to pity the mother in these cases... Making a baby is not one sided... And if it is it is done in a clinic with just sperm... So the choice should be 50/50 not 100/0 and whatever the woman decides is how it goes... Its been to far gone now... That's why you have so many people not paying the support in the first place... Cause the woman thinks that if she brings the baby in this world its going to change how the man feels... And its not.. People are stubborn in their own way.. And if they stressed they didn't want it... I think they shouldn't have to pay.. If that means giving up all parental rights then so be it... He didn't want the baby in the first place... And you know what.. If he happens to grow a conscience down the line and wants to see his kid... I also think he has to start paying the child support arrears and monthly right then an there before he can see the kid... But people don't think like that... I bet it would stop a lot of women from having baby's young or when there not ready.. And also have a lot of people off of welfare because they wont be able to rely on the system cause if they have that baby they already know what the outcome would be
If they are not married he should not have to if he doesn't want the child. She is not forced to get an abortion, she can take advantage of open adoption when he rejects her and the pregnancy as unwanted. The law needs to change. It is a wicked unjust system. Men are making a big mistake. They should be forming advocacy groups to stop this insanity. Everyone knows children do much better in a two parent home. Everyone knows there are thousands of couples wanting to adopt babies and there are none for them to adopt. It is assinine to force two people to marry when she traps him with a pregnancy. It is assinine to force him to pay child support when there are two other options available to the little witch...preferably adoption.
I don't want anything to do with either the mother or the child. They have both made my life a living hell. I can't afford my own apartment and have to live other people and that is going to change soon and I may be living out of my car. You want me to step up and be a man, well, I had no choice in the matter. She thought she would trap me since I was in the military. She told me I was a father 1.5 months after he was born. It was only when she realized she couldn't raise it on her own she contacted me. Since then I have paid what I owed to the state in back child support but the interest is so high it has not gone down. She has been unemployed for a year and doesn't intend to get a job it would seem because she makes too much money from me and draws unemployment as well. At this point, I just don't care anymore. I've considered suicide over this because I have no life of my own. But I need to step up and be a man? You women are all the same.
If she decided to get pregnant without his consensus, then she should take the burden. The law is (at least in Colorado) only in favor of the mother because this way the state has a lesser burden. They act like they protect the mother, but if the mother makes a decision like this , then she should be responsible. If she is on the pill and without his knowing stops taking it in order to get pregnant - it's her child only. The law is wrong and needs to be corrected.
What he should take responsibility for?!
Having sex? Well, I assume we all have sex but some might get unlucky and pregnancy might occur. Does that mean he has to be responsible for the bad luck?! It's like making the victim responsibility for his/her own prejudices. Either we all take responsibility for someone's bad luck and place that child for adoption at once or mother should be helped by the state as any other parents who need state support for raising their children
Well if she refuses to name you as the father that can mean things but possibly 1 of the 2 reasons, 1) she doesn't want your money because I have seen women do this on many occasions to completely remove the father from their own or their child's life however these women do this when they are secured financially and emotionally but they have their reasons for doing so. 2) the child isn't the fathers which would give her no leg to stand on in court if she wants to file for child support but if the child is yours please do your best as a father to be there for them financially because a single mother is a full-time job and any money can help.
Ok does your girlfriend work or is she on benefits, the reason I ask is because if she claims benefits they will ask her for the details of the father, she has a few options here, she can lie and just say that she is unsure of who the father is, that way the csa will not be able to contact you anyway, if on the other hand she just decides not to tell them your details they may then stop part of her money because it is her chosing not to tell them,
I know you said the pregnancy is unwanted but why would you yourself not want to pay towards your own child, even if your relationship has ended surely you still want contact with your child.
Each and everytime someone has unprotected sex they should expect pregnancy to occur. Even if the girl claims to be on birth control, or doesn't say she isn't still the man didn't ensure no pregnancy would occur by not using protection. Abortion is not a cure all for men who want to have risky sex with no consequences, it is a serious issue, that is only taken lightly by people who don't want to own up to their reponsibilites. It in no way should be up to the man to force a woman to have an abortion, he made his choice when he had sex with her without protection, instead of ensuring there would be no resulting pregnancy he left it up to her. Abortion is that taking of a human life, your childs life. So what if supprorting your child "makes your life a living hell" deal with it, and while you're at it GROW UP. So what if you hate the mother and the mother hates you, the child is completely innocent and deserves to be supported and loved. The conception was 50/50, after all the man was not raped he was a willing participant. How can a man accuse a woman of "tricking" him into getting her pregnant, does he not know how babies are made? Did he never hear about the birds and the bees? If a man does not want anything to do with his child then that child is better off without him, but he still has a legal financial obligation to this life he created. Before you go defending a man that does not even want to work hard to care for the child he caused to be born, ask yourself what kind of person doesn't want to support their own child. It's not a mature, loving, and responsible person, it is a selfish, immature, negligent person who concieves a child and then blames that child for their mistake.
He consented when she got pregnant? They both consented to sex not children. Then if that's the case, abortion should be done away with. If a woman consented to having sex and got pregnant, then she made her choice and abortion isn't an option according to your thinking.
Yes he does and so he should.
Grow up, be a man and take responsibility for your actions. You can't erase a child as if he or she is a video game. What happens in your future is directly affected by the choices you make now. Do you think that you are magically going to turn into a good father in a future relationship? Being a man/father starts now when the pressure is on. The trouble is that we can rationalize anything but sooner or later, we still pay a price for making the wrong choices.
You consented when you got her pregnant. That is what the courts will say and I agree. The court can order a paternity test if she asks for it. If it is yours, you will have to pay child support. The best thing for you is to be a father and a daddy to this child. It is a wonderful and scarry experience that you will NOT regret.