How Do I Get Rid Of My Hate That I Have For My Exhusband?

Don't take this wrong, but you may need professional help. Obsessive anger is a destructive emotion that will damage you and all of your relationships.

I know that men can be real S0Bs - I certainly am ;) but this must be dealt with before it ruins your life. Some simple things you can do that may help: Write your feelings in a journal (paper or on your computer), start a blog about how your feel, go to some discussion groups on divorce and share it with them.

A person's brain chemistry can get messed up by intense emotional disturbances like what you've suffered. Sometimes the only way this can be helped is with the use of anti-depressant medication. Talk to your Dr. About it. Don't let him prescribe some $200/month med if your insurance won't cover it, make sure it is something inexpensive like Prozac that you can afford and will be able to continue to use until you've let go of your anger. Good luck and God bless.

Forget about him! Live in the moment! Find someone new, better! Good Luck, and I know you can do it!

The only person being hurt here is you. The longer you hold onto that hate, the worse it well get, and you will never be able to move on. Stop worrying about him, and start paying attention to your own needs. You have to start forming new relationships and/or new interests, but if you allow the hate to keep eating away at you, those things will be difficult. Your ex is the "winner" if you don't give it up. I know this sounds old, but if you can't do it yourself and with the help of family and friends, get some counseling. That's no way to live.

I am obviously feeling Hate towards my ex (we still aren't divorced because I fell for his lies and took him back again after filing for divorce last year) He turned into a habitual liar and the more I find out the truth, the more the 20 year marriage seems like a lie. I find myself muttering to myself......#^&%, I HATE HIM! The most recent thing he said was "well, she hates you as much as you hate her"! (She being the mistress that is only his friend!) I have finally cut off all contact just this last week and I think that is the only way to start healing after 2 years of lying, cheating, him blaming me and taking no responsibility for being unfaithful. I am going to my attorney in August to pursue a court date for the divorce and it feels like light at the end of the tunnel! Good luck to you, I will pray for your heart to heal so you can be happy again.

I wish I could tell you.  My ex-husband and I divorced a year ago and he got married in December, 2008.  I can't stand the woman because of the affair and I can't control the anger because he keeps telling me that they were only friends.  I am in a new relationship and sometimes I find myself spilling the anger over into the new relationship.  If my ex-husband didn't blame me for everything and would admit to the affair, I am sure I could be much better and the anger would begin to diminish.  I have been to therapy and divorce recovery but nothing seems to work.  It's almost like I want to be mad.  I think sometimes the anger helps me to hold on to our 22 year marriage.  It's crazy but it's what it is.  I am trying right now to find positive ways to channel my anger in hopes of conquering it.  I have cut off all conversations with him and hopefully, I can move more towards the new relationship. People tell me it takes a long time to get over something like this and I believe them now.  Good luck!