I raised my three kids with love and kindness. Even though two were step-kids, I treated them as if they were my own. Unlike my mean sadistic father, I never laid a hand on any of my kids when they got out of hand. I took them camping and taught them to read the stars and how to survive in the woods. I received none of these things from my father. He just liked to yell and beat me. I wouldn't do that with my kids. I wanted them to always feel welcome and loved. Things I never had.
What sort of parenting did you receive as a child that you avoided in raising your own children and / or if you do not yet have children, what sort of parenting do you intend to avoid if you do?
I resolved never to send my children up chimneys to sweep. I decided never to introduce them to pickpocketing either.
I was mainly successful. (Mind you, one of them grew up to be a lawyer, so I didn't wipe out the petty theft altogether).
The whole do-or-die mentality. It was stressful. Sure, I want my children to all be successful and up to par. To be the best they can be. But they weren't raised in such impoverish and dire situations as I was. I can't tell them... If you don't succeed at this you're going to starve and die. Meanwhile we go out to eat every weekend eating 50 dollar meals.
Everything! I had two very self absorbed, violent, alcoholic, sadistic parents. I did everything different. It took a lot of time, patience, courage, and education to be a better parent, no, a better human being than they were. My children have never known violence, fear or pain from the very people who were supposed to love and nurture them. They have two fabulous loving parents who dedicated their lives for the betterment of their children.
I am so sorry to all of you who had to deal with evil abusive parents. That is absolutely atrocious behavior on their part which I have read in you guys answers. NO child should ever have to feel what you guys did. I got very lucky. My parents would have been considered over protective. Most of my issues I deal with is because of my own doing to myself, whether intentional or not. For instance I made myself feel like I was the black sheep because my older sister was the "clingy" one, my younger sister was the "sick" one and my brother... Well he was "the boy." So I always told myself I was the one "just there." I later became the screw up! Lol! Anyways, the biggest thing ALL four of us kids never adopted from our parents was the "okay to divorce." When we said "I do" to our spouse's, it was for life. I don't know how many times I've heard my mom tell me "just divorce him" or "get a divorce." Nooooope not us. Lol! My brother in law became a widow. I've been married 16 years now and my brothers been married 26 years already.