Should mothers stay home & take care of their kids?


8 Answers

dragonfly forty-six Profile

Every family is different. How I was raised was different than how I raised my children. But what worked in my house might not work in others. But it worked for us.

I stayed home, and I worked. My husband always supported me in either endeavour. We didn't have anyone to watch our children before kindergarten so I got to stay home. We could have done day care but the rates at the time for infant and toddler care would have eaten the second pay check. When the youngest turned 4 I got the itch to work. I just wanted a life outside of the home. My husband supported my choice and helped around the home and with the children. I worked part time. I eventually worked at their school so I had holidays and summers off with the children. For me I had to do both. I got to be a mom for my children and got a career. I personally found having both as the most fulfilling choice for me. I believe I was and am a better mother because I had another vocation. Working made me really happy.  Having extra money made life a lot easier. Having a husband who was willing to help made a big difference in my choice to work. He would make dinner and change diapers. Very supportive. Even when I wasn't working he helped. Having a career gave me a sense of accomplishment that made me so happy and centered that I brought that to mothering.

So I think that for some family units, yes it's great if a parent can stay home (plenty of daddies are staying home too). But sometimes it's okay if both are working too.

Didge Doo Profile
Didge Doo answered

The problem with your question lies in one word: "should". You seem to be laying an obligation on mothers that they may not be able to accept.

Mrs Didge and I were married in 1960 and, at that time, there were "horror" stories coming from Krushchev's USSR about mothers having to go back to work ASAP and leave their babies in a creche. Western women were mostly horrified at the idea. Fifty-five years later it seems pretty normal.

Much depends on the financial situation of the family. We opted for one income, and that meant I worked a lot of overtime and, sometimes, two jobs. With hindsight I wouldn't have swapped Mrs D for twice the wage i was earning. Raising five kids was really a handful.

Are they better off for having their mother on hand 24/7? I honestly can't claim that's so. They currently range in age from 54 down to 42, they've had their successes and their failures, and their classmates whose mother also went out to work are certainly no worse off than they are. In many cases they're better off, partly because there was more money to spend on unnecessary but interesting things.

So I can't answer your question other than to say: Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Wizeold Dogmom Profile
Wizeold Dogmom answered

Either parent at home would be nice. The world today is requiring two working parents just to fall into the slightly above poverty line.

7 People thanked the writer.
Rooster Cogburn
Rooster Cogburn commented
We both had to work to raise three kids! Even more expensive now !
Wizeold Dogmom
Wizeold Dogmom commented
Ya I worked on and off.... while pregnant then after the kids were 13 I went back to college. There were 3 under 2 years old...... the first was 16 months when the twins were born. The Geezer worked 2 jobs and side jobs.
Sharron Prestcott Profile

If it's possible for you to stay at home and you really want to then yes do it.  Don't do it if you resent it because that creates an unhealthy home environment for the child.

Those first few years are very important, mother child bonding is at it's peak during this time and from the child's point of view of course they would rather be home with their mother than dropped off at daycare.

Zack -  Mr. GenXer Profile

Quite the conundrum if you also have a job to get to.

Darik Majoren Profile
Darik Majoren answered

It would be nice if ANY parent could stay home to take care of the kids. Most family units and lifestyles require tow paychecks, unless one of you is lucky enough to make enough so you don't have to.

I was a "stay at home dad" for the first 2 1/2 years of my oldest life. I absolutely LOVED it. My only regret is not getting the same time with my youngest.

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