I've been 'seeing' a girl for a few weeks now, but it's not that serious yet. I'm going travelling soon, is it acceptable to sleep with other women whilst I'm away? Or would this be considered cheating?

Question

I've been 'seeing' a girl for a few weeks now, but it's not that serious yet. I'm going travelling soon, is it acceptable to sleep with other women whilst I'm away? Or would this be considered cheating?

5 Answers

Answer Question

Answer 1

Paul Airey answered

You need to ask her if it's exclusive yet or not.

Answer 2

Yo Kass answered

I think it'd be considered cheating. There's no reason why you can't tell this girl about your plans to go abroad and meet other women - if she then chooses to stay with you despite this, then you wouldn't be cheating.

However, not telling her about your plans is a sign that you know deep down that it's wrong. You're not giving her the option to make a decision based on the full facts.

I'd recommend you try and imagine how you'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot - what would you think if she did the same thing to you?

Answer 3

I would personally consider this cheating — if you're not sleeping with other girls while you're at home because that's cheating, why should it be any different when you're travelling?

You don't sound too serious about the girl you're currently seeing — I understand you haven't been together long, but if you're thinking of sleeping with other people when you're away, it doesn't seem like you're that crazy about her.

Either way, this girl won't be happy with you sleeping around when you're travelling. I think it's probably fairer to break up with her before you go, if you do want to sleep with other people when you're gone. If she finds out about it later on in the relationship, she'll be upset, and you probably won't want to deal with her anger, either!

If you don't want to end things with this girl, don't sleep with anybody else, either. Alternatively, compromise and take her with you — it could be a good chance to get to know each other, too!

Answer 4

If you have to ask the question, it's not the right thing to do. Look inside and see if this feels like the right thing to do.

Morality is a flexible changing concept and what was morally acceptable 100 years ago is not acceptable today. Our ideas and notions of what is morally acceptable change all the time and so does the collective conscious and not always for the best.

So you may find in a 100 years that this practice of "What goes on on tour, stays on tour" becomes the norm, but right now; No Sir, you will be doing both of you a disservice, but this is just MY moral standpoint ;o)

Answer 5

I think Paul's right and the the key question is, "Is it exclusive?".

"Seeing" her is a pretty loose phrase which could mean anything, so I guess it all depends on what both of you think the relationship actually is at the moment, as well as what - if anything - it's planned to be once you go away, (not to mention on your return).

If you're hoping to continue the relationship while you're away, then it obviously isn't acceptable to sleep with someone else, unless your relationship isn't exclusive and your girlfriend's agreed to it.

But if you both intend to end the relationship when you go away - or, at least, go on a break - then it probably is okay, as long as both of you are aware of the "rules" and they're the same for both of you.

Even if you do agree that you can both sleep with other people, though, I still can't promise that you won't find yourself having a repeat of the classic Ross and Rachel argument from Friends, once you get back from your travels: "But we were ON A BREAK!"

The other advice given by others about STDS is also crucial, obviously!