Why Do Stepdaughters Hate Stepmothers?


3 Answers

Mrs E Profile
Mrs E answered
My Dad split from my mum when I was twelve and my Dad met my now step-mum roughly when they split. They were friends for a year before they started dating.
I've never had a problem with my step mother, but my older sister, by two years HATED her!
They got on okay now though, my sister mellowed out a bit!
I think a lot of the animosity came from my mother's treatment of my sister, which was deplorable.
My sister just wanted my mum to love her which didn't happen and an older female in place wasn't acceptable for her.
My step mum was great with me and would have been to my sis, but she wouldn't accept her status as dad's girlfriend or step mother.
It really depends on the step mothers behavour as well. I'm unsure if you are the step mum or child, but patience is the key and not to spoil the child, which can happen, the child taking advantage of the situation.
They want their own mum, regardless if she was even a drug user, she was/is their mum and that's what they want, and don't want to accept someone else in their Dads life.
I was put out by my step mum's freakish cleaning, I was the one to do it before she moved in and we were doing fine, I was kinda pushed out in that area, but I coped with it and weathered it. Regardless if your the best step mum ever, it will be hard work and for the kid, it will be really hard, but they need to see that it makes their dad happy and no amount of scheming or crying will change it. Be strong.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Usually because they resent them taking their moms place and try to compare them to their mothers..and they're also jealous because of the time that it takes from their dad cause he will focus his attention on the stepmother more.
Joan Profile
Joan answered
First,  it must be understood that not all Step-daughters hate their Stepmothers.  But those that do,  probably have as many different reasons as there are Step-relationships.  One of the underlying frequent ones, however, is thought to be: Jealousy.  Jealousy that this strange woman has come into the family dynamics and taken some of the love & attention away from the child.  This strange woman comes into the home and starts giving orders and demanding that things be done differently than they had previously been done.  This woman not only gives orders, she has the authority to deal out punishment, certainly harsher than Dad would have given.  All of these things may or may not be true.  They may well be only in the mind of the Stepdaughter, and may seen as a bigger problem than they truly are.  Nevertheless, the Stepdaughter see the new woman in her Dad's life as a challenger and someone that must be made to see that Dad loves the daughter more than the new wife.  In some cases, depending on how well ( or how badly) this situation is handled, the child can make life so difficult that the man and wife end up splitting up.  The best way to combat this is for the husband and wife to show a united front with the child.  The Dad must insist that the child show respect to his new wife.  The wife must remember that this is a new and painful living arrangement for the child and attempt to hold her temper and show love and understanding when confronted with a rebellious child...not an easy task.  She must be firm and fair at the same time.  If there are "his kids" and "her kids" involved both parents must be absolutely sure that no favoritism is shown when setting down family rules or when delving out punishment.  It is a difficult time for all involved.  Good Luck.

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