Should funerals celebrate a dead persons life?


19 Answers

Jo W. Profile
Jo W. answered
At first news of a loved one's passing, everyone goes into overdrive preparing food for the stricken family.  Some of this food may be served to the houseguests after the funeral, but the bulk of it will go into the freezer for future family dinners in the coming weeks -- dinners on nights when the departed's loved ones are just too grief-stricken to concentrate on cooking or do much of anything.

Funerals are held to allow the survivors to pay their final respects, to begin adjusting to this new situation and to begin dealing with their grief.  You will find that there are not many people who are comfortable celebrating the deceased's life right there in the funeral home; that is why family and friends usually go back to the house after the funeral and graveside services are over -- to share stories of the deceased with those who loved them and to offer their help, help with the house, shopping, errands, car pools, doctor's appointments or just getting the children safely to school, practice, or appointments. 

No matter what the family needs and whether they know they need it or not, those needs will be met, no matter how simple or complicated the task may be.

Thanks for such a thoughtful question.
Arthur Wright Profile
Arthur Wright answered
Thats up to the surviving family on just exactly they  want to pay their last respects to their lost loved one. Funerals are just that a last respect to the dead but after that its up to them. Personally,I would love to see my loved ones have a huge party over my funeral
Midnite star Profile
Midnite star answered
I agree with JoJoBlue for the most part.... Tho for my own "funeral", I do not wish people who loved me in life to sit there & look at my dead body.
If they took the time to be with me when I was alive, then my death should not be a farce where hypocrites come to cry. I have always disliked funerals/wakes where I saw people who never gave a rap about the deceased, only show up at the funeral and carry on like they just lost their only love. They are such phony ceremonies sometimes....and mostly for phony people.
I dislike hypocrites in general and funerals are the place where you can find the biggest ones.

I would prefer my friends an family choose to celebrate my life when I die. Don't waste your tears on me after I'm gone. Use them to support me when I'm alive. Save your money on flowers for me when I can't see or smell them. Give them to me now. Give me an hour of your time now. Not after I'm gone. I want to see your loving face and feel your loving arms now. I cannot feel them or see them when I am dead.

If I must have a funeral for my death....and it makes my loved ones feel better, okay. But after they've had their way, then I say...Turn up the music and Let them eat cake !!
Lynne Dwyer Profile
Lynne Dwyer answered
In my ilk, we do. We send them off with a bang. Literally. We spend the "funeral time" sharing memories and stories. The good and the bad. Goes on for many hours. Kind of like a fun wake. Children are encouraged to attend, we try to emote our loss of someone so dear, yet encourage to remember that the person still lives on with us. Plenty of food and drink. Family atmosphere. To most it may seem like a macabre (?) party. But it works for us.
Verrysweet Bee Profile
Verrysweet Bee answered
I don't agree with the celebration of the dead. I  have a problem going to funerals or staying around to long when there is one. The bright side is they are moving on to another life in the spirit.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Yes they should. Although I believe first there should be a time for grieving and then speeches ect about the persons life follows, and this is where the celebration part should come into it.
Merlin Paine Profile
Merlin Paine answered
Indeed..... I would like for my family to celebrate my life at my funeral. Provided it ends up being a life one should celebrate. They should celebrate all the good that I accomplished in life.
Jack Mahon Profile
Jack Mahon answered
No one ever celebrated my life when I was alive, why should they start now. It's funny how you make the transition from a live SOB to sainthood after you croak. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when I'm being eulogized and made monumental extolling me for things I never did, and how they lost a good friend when I haven't had a glimpse nor heard a word from them in years.  The only thing that saddens me is that I won't have the chance to visit them when they too become Icons.
thanked the writer.
Karen F.
Karen F. commented
Jackyll, that is an AWESOME answer! I see that so often at funerals - to be honest I sometimes have a hard time stifling giggles (geeze - how inappropriate is that?).
Brendon Patrick Davis Profile
Wow, this is an extremely tough question. I never thought of funerals to celebrate a death, except for the Day of the Dead in Mexico.. Otherwise, I'd always thought of funerals to bring over new lives, after a life changing experience, and to mourn the death of the loved one.
Karen F. Profile
Karen F. answered
I think so. (But then, I'm an atheist so all the talk about "going to a better place"  la, la, la, doesn't impress me very much).

I want a party when I'm gone; everyone who knew me should get together and have a rip-snorting good time and share stories of all the stupid, embarrassing things I did when I was around and have a good laugh.
High Sea Air Profile
High Sea Air answered
I  could  never  see why  people  celebrate  after  burrying  a  loved one with having  food  and stuff  after  the  funeral  ,  No  one  is  getting  to eat  after  my  funeral ,  I am  leaving  a
message  please  go  to the nearest  Mcdonalds  and or  Eat  n Park  and have one  on my sorry  arse
Joan Profile
Joan answered
How important is a funeral?  You might ask the parent's of the soldier who was lost at sea or the family of one of the 9-11 victims who was never found.  A funeral offers the opportunity to say the last good-bye.  Only in the recent years has it become common place for the deceased person to have family and friends comment on their life during the funeral itself.  It is a time for remembrance and yes, even an occasional laugh.  It is easier to celebrate a person's life when you know that the deceased has gone on to heaven where you will one day meet again.  A funeral where there is no mention of God or of the  salvation of the deceased is one of the saddest experiences I have ever had.  The family and friends seemed much more distraught than any of the other funerals I have attended where there was knowledge of the dead persons religious belief in God.  When a person dies, it is natural to speak of the good the dead did while living.  After all, you are there to either comfort those who have suffered the loss of their loved one or to pay homage to the man/woman who was your friend.  Why would you speak ill of the dead?  If you have bad feelings for him/her, stay away from the funeral.  A funeral is more for the living than it is for the dead.  It is a time to show care and support for those left behind.  I believe it is a time to celebrate the life of your friend or family member.  He/she was important to you in some way or you would not be there.
Annie Devore Profile
Annie Devore answered
I Am Very Ambivalent On This One.. My Brother Died Of Alcoholism. Yet They Served Beer At His Funeral..  Afterwords They Had  Whiskey..  Rum..  Vodka .. Wine Coolers.. Beer  For About 80 People At An Apartment Party. Some People Got Drunk  He Drank Vodka Out Of The
Bottle. Whiskey At  3 Am. He Hid Jack Daniels All Over His Apartment And Was Drunk By 8 Am For Over 15 Years..He Associated Getting Drunk With Getting Release From Depression. Can't Quite Wrap My Head Around  Getting Drunk  At A Wake. For A Man Who Died Of Alcoholism Explain This To Me.
thanked the writer.
Joan commented
Who planned this event? It sounds as if it was someone who may have aided or contributed to his problem or at least turned a blind eye away from the problem. Were you not consulted about how your brother's funeral/wake would be handled? I am sorry for you loss and for the fact that you do not feel that your brother's funeral/wake was appropriate. It makes your grieving all the more difficult, I am sure. You have my sympathy.
Annie Devore
Annie Devore commented
Yes It Was Planned By His Wife Who Was In Denial And Was An Enabler. She Bought Him All The Liquor Because He Lost His Temper And Demanded The Liquor Thanks For Responding This Kind Of Disgusted Me
Joe B. Profile
Joe B. answered
Absolutely Keithold...... You cannot spell 'funeral' without also being able to spell out 'real fun' and that's what it should be.
Hide those tears, and shut up about the tragedy. This is a fun time, to celebrate the one who has left us. Share stories, get to know the lost person better.
Why be sad about death? It shall come for us all.
Not Tellin Profile
Not Tellin answered
Hell yeah! Celebrate all the great times the person had!! Yes, it's sad they're gone but I doubt they'd want anyone crying over them!!!
When I die, I want no tears or sad farewell or anyone in black!! Heck break out the booze, food and music!! Death is just the next adventure to someone's life!! Someone very close to me doesn't have much time left, and they would not want me or anyone to be sad!! Yes, morning is something everyone does but would they want you to hold on after they had gone?!  No, I don't think so. So celebrate, they're some place better and you'll see them again!!! :-)
Hopefully not too soon!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Funeral for dead person? What's news about that? As long as the whole truth about that life is properly sanitized in order that celebrants don't come off as hypocrites.

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