Do you think kids are better off with their mom (or dad) staying at home with them or having both parents working but they have all the material things they want?

9 Answers

Willie B. good Profile
Willie B. good answered

When I was growing up my father work days and my mother works nights so there was always a parent at home, it seemed to work out pretty good. As for getting all the material things we wanted well let's just say that never happened. :)

Taila Nevado Profile
Taila Nevado answered

I think that we should try to find a balance. It is obvious that
a child would need material things in life. These would meet basic needs such
as food, clothes or shelter. However, they also require love and attention from
both their parents. So, the best option would be to try to give them both.

Ray  Dart Profile
Ray Dart answered

I missed my children growing up as I went in pursuit of career, advancement and money. Whether they missed me is less clear.

Janis Haskell Profile
Janis Haskell answered

Every family is unique, and parents should be free to split the responsibilities in a way that works for them and their children ... And that can change during different seasons of life.

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Janis Haskell
Janis Haskell commented
I stayed home with our daughter for the first six years until she recovered from her heart surgery. During the final years of my husband's life, he was at home with her after school each day while I was at work. It was precious time for both of them.
Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
Awe!!!!! 💕💞
Tom  Jackson
Tom Jackson commented
Totally focused time, Janis---an unusual opportunity for all of you.
Don Barzini Profile
Don Barzini answered

-I think material things can not take the place of effective parenting. Just sticking a kid in a roomful of toys teaches them nothing. Doing this as a practice is, in my view, a species of neglect.

-Children need to learn values, goals, communication, reasoning, self-worth, responsibility, respect, behavior,  social and motor skills that are incumbent upon parents to model and instruct. None are gained from material pacification.

The question that comes to my mind is why have children at all, if there is no will or time to train them to be productive adults in society? What kinds of childhood memories would these young people have?

Too many products of the material pacification model fill our welfare rolls already. 

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Tom  Jackson
Tom Jackson commented
You can always tell a good parent by reading what they think about parenting.
Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
I never thought of that Tom! Wow! ☺
Don Barzini
Don Barzini commented
I’ve learned an imperative of a life well lived is to leave this world better than we found it.
What better expression of that than to raise our kids better than we were. They are given a working example for raising their children. And so on.

Defeat the cycle of failure.
Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Individual parents have human needs too.  (Maslow provides a good list of human needs in five categories.)

An unhappy parent who resents being required to stay home with the child is not going to be a fun person to be around, and may well come to resent the child with disastrous consequences for the child's development..

Fortunately, it usually is not an either / or situation.

(My mother, when I was about 12 was sick.  She said she was staying home from the hospital because she didn't want to leave me alone during the day.  (Read---be her servant.)

I tolder her to just go and not to do me any favors.

(Turns out much later in life that she admitted she never really wanted to be married and have kids.)

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Tom  Jackson
Tom Jackson commented
I agree that forgiveness is key---but it is absolutely necessary to mention that forgiving too soon can actually be an impediment to healing.

If you are in the position of having to forgive someone, that means that they did something to you which you did not deserve to have done to you and they in turn did something to you that they had no right to you.

Until you heal sufficiently, you must keep that forgiveness in abeyance to keep the necessary amount of separation between what was done to you and the fact that you did not deserve what was done to you---and that you are and were worth much more than to have had that done to you.
Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
Perfectly put! So very true.
Don Barzini
Don Barzini commented
Well said, Tom. As usual.
Veronica Dultry Profile
Veronica Dultry answered

I think it depends on the individuals in question. Too many factors. What works for some, won't for others.

I've actually seen both work fine. Surprised me too, but after some thought and being open minded about other possibilities, I saw that many different combinations worked out well. My bias clouded my ability to see it in different ways. Common factors included, love, responsibility, apology, quality time and much more. I focus on the reality of the struggle of all families despite what they have to start with. You can have everything and have nothing, or vice versa.

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Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
So true. I like the last part you said "you can have everything and have nothing, or vice versa."
Veronica Dultry
Veronica Dultry commented
Or any other combination. Both work, they have support, so they do have all things material and are present for their children. Both parents are at home and still one child has a very difficult upbringing. Parenting is complicted. No guarantees that you give your child every opportunity and they still become a contributing member of society. You just do what you can, whenever you can.
Darren Wolfgang Profile
Darren Wolfgang answered

I think kids are better off having their Mom at home and Dad working and being the bread winner . Growing up my parents were old fashion my Mom stayed at home and Dad worked. But my Dad would never come straight home he would go to the bars after work . My Mom unfortunately married a Man who thought more of his self. Now with my Maternal Grandparents Norman and Libby . Grand-dad worked for Combustion Engineering & railroad where he met my Grandma , she also worked on the railroad too that's how they met and later my Grand-dad retired from them jobs and in 1974 became Deputy Sheriff of the County we lived in. My Grandma retired from the railroad after so many years . Than she worked for people doing house cleaning to make her own money cause she wanted her own spending money than she retired in the late 70's- early 80's . My Grand-dad took railroad retirement in 1984 and him and my Grandma lived on that income monthly . But my Grand-dad was saver when it came to money and he bought his cemetery plot for him and my Grandma . Life is amazing how you hear tales about your Grandparents really remarkable. But i believe all kids should have some parent homes . What is sad some kids age 12 come home to Mom and Dad working and are left with a babysitter or Grandparents babysitting them and some kids don't see Mom and Dad not very often due to work schedules .

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Darren Wolfgang
Darren Wolfgang commented
Thank you Yin :) Yes i agree it's remarkable . My Maternal Grandparents dd everything for us kids . My Grandma would walk places and my Grandfather said, Lib let me take by car she said, No i'm walking and she made her mind up.
Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
Lol! Head strong wasn't she! 😅
Darren Wolfgang
Darren Wolfgang commented
Lol Yes she was 🤣😂

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