Anonymous........Your son or daughter curfew is 10:00 pm, but last night - once again- he or she came home after 11:00.
Your teenager can do better. But first you need to know why he or she seems to be flouting your rules. The good new? What appears to be outright defiance may be something far less serious.
WHY IT HAPPENS
UNCLEAR BOUNDARIES, some teenagers ignore rules in order to see what they can get away with. For example, if a parent has said that a certain misdeed would result in a partcular consequence, a teenager might test boundaries to see if the parent will follow through. Are such teenagers becoming hardened rebels? Not necessarly. The fact is, teens are more likely to be lax about obeying rules when parents have not been consistant in enforcing consequences or when the boundaries have not been clearly defined.
WHAT CAN YOU DO/
1. BE CLEAR..... Teenagers need to know precisely what is expected of them and what the consequences of disobedience will be. (Bible principle galatians 6:7).
SUGGESTION..... Write a list of your house rules. Then ask yourself: Have I set too many? Have I set too few? Are some no longer needed? Should I make adjustments in accord with the level of responsibility that my teenager has demonstrated.
2. BE C0NSISTANT.....Teenagers might become confused if they were let off the hook last week but then face consequences this week for a similar infraction.
SUGGESTION......Try to make the consequence revelent to the "crime". For example, if your teenager breaks a curfew, imposing an earlier curfew would be a related consequence.
3. BE REASONABLE.....Show yourself to be a flexible parent by according more freedom as it is earned.
SUGGESTION.....Sit down and discuss rules with your teenager. You might even have him or her weigh in on what cosequences should be meted out for certain infractions. Teenagers are far more likely to comply with rules that they have had a hand in formulating.
4. BUILD CHARACTER.....Your goal is not just to get your teenager to obey orders but to help him or she to develop a healthy conscience- an internal sense of right and wrong.
SUGGESTION.....Look to the Bible for help. It is the best source of "discipline that gives insight", and its wisdom can "give to the inexperienced ones shrewness, to a young man or woman knowledge and thinking ability.
