Anonymous

An estranged father coming back into his daughter life after 40 plus years as a millionaire but feels like his daughter is not entitled to any of his money but still wants just a friendship. Any opinions?

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5 Answers

Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

My opinion? Money can not buy you happiness. He obviously cares about his money. However forgiveness will set you free and you will find happiness with forgiveness. Forgive your father, don't trust and don't expect any money. Do this for YOU not him.

Pepper pot Profile
Pepper pot answered

Well my first thoughts were "backdated child support payments."

He wants friendship not a father daughter relationship, that's odd. An offspring is an offspring as far as I'm concerned.  However, if it would hurt the daughter to see her father go, then take the friendship, but don't put too many hopes on him he has already set conditions between you, see how things go, time changes things.

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Bikergirl Anonymous
Bikergirl Anonymous commented
Well .. considering there is a lot of information missing here .. there is still not enough to pass judgement on his intentions .. you have your sense of logic and I have mine .. it is still conjecture. You know as well as I anyone can influence someone's opinion about a topic by giving information out of context. She had painted a picture .. but it's not the whole picture.
It just makes no sense to me that he would approach her after all of these years without some sort of sentiment in his intent. He doesn't need to go out of his way to make friends ., he approached her because she is special to him. That contradicts the picture she is trying to paint.
Bikergirl Anonymous
Bikergirl Anonymous commented
Well .. considering there is a lot of information missing here .. there is still not enough to pass judgement on his intentions .. you have your sense of logic and I have mine .. it is still conjecture. You know as well as I anyone can influence someone's opinion about a topic by giving information out of context. She had painted a picture .. but it's not the whole picture.
It just makes no sense to me that he would approach her after all of these years without some sort of sentiment in his intent. He doesn't need to go out of his way to make friends ., he approached her because she is special to him. That contradicts the picture she is trying to paint.
Bikergirl Anonymous
Bikergirl Anonymous commented
I am really having a hard time getting the full picture here..and more speculation and conjecture is not being fair to either father or daughter. In all fairness to both..I thinking I am going to refrain from making any further comments about something I know nothing about. Catch on the flip side, Pepper Pot.
Tom Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

He's STILL an estranged father.

He want's a relationship on HIS terms.

He's NOT ready to be a parent yet.

Wait to reconnect with him until HE grows up.

Otis Campbell Profile
Otis Campbell answered

I havent seen my so since he was three yrs old he is 26 now i wish i could see him a nasty divorce and stuff just kept me away i would love to see him today and im poor

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Bikergirl Anonymous
Bikergirl Anonymous commented
So .. why haven't you made contact with him, and try to reconnect now that he is out of his mother's influence and is an adult. Unless there were things that prevented you from legally seeing him, there IS no excuse. Call him .. and make the first move!
Bikergirl Anonymous
Bikergirl Anonymous commented
Sometimes, kids who have been stuck in the middle of such 'ugliness' are in the dark about what transpired. More often than not, the child is lied to about reasons for the 'other' parent to not be involved in their life. Every child deserves hearing it from the 'estranged' parent about what truly happend to prevent them from being involved in a child's life.
Tom Jackson
Tom Jackson commented
Did you ask this question, Otis?

I answered it the way I did because the relationship posed was of father and daughter.

The possibility of a "mano a mano" situation would generate a different answer.
Bikergirl Anonymous Profile
Bikergirl Anonymous answered

My 1st thought is .. What does money have to do with it?

I imagine the father is experienced with dealing with people who want something monetary from him .. Wealthy people deal with that level of connection daily.

In THIS instance, he doesn't know his daughter as a person, an individual .. And is probably afraid that if she got wind that there was something monetary in it for her, that she would 'fake' a relationship with him just to get money out of him. I don't think anyone wants a phoney relationship.

My guess is .. He understands that blood doesn't make you automatic 'family'. I think he just might want to remove that distraction to see if he can connect with her on a much deeper level and cultivate a relationship with her.  Maybe he wants her to see him for WHO he is as a person, and perhaps even someday as a father .. Not a winfall.

However .. and having said that .. I wonder if he also understands that his absence in her life has created a lot of road blocks. I imagine she also has some issues with him and his out of the blue interest in her and her well being.

They should both be cautious about this .. Sometimes things aren't always what they seem .. sometimes they are way more than they seem.  Time will tell.

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