I as well have 5 offspring, 2 are near 40, and have put themselves through school to become a lawyer and a certified accountant, both girls, My 3 boys one that is near 40 hangs drywall, the other in their 20's just got out of the military and have not made up what they're going to do. I've treated none of them differently (that I know of).
If you had two children one was very intelligent driven motivated and productive the other one was lazy obnoxious unproductive and a problem causer would you love them the same and how would you treat them differently?
I had five kids, each different from the others. One is trans-sexual, one is religious (he doesn't understand his brother/sister), the others are fairly unremarkable. They've all been good at the sport of their choice (it varied) and they all lead reasonably normal lives (yes, including that one).
As kids we treated them pretty much the same. Showed support, encouraged them in whatever interested them at the time, and tried to be reasonable parents. I suppose we were at least partly successful.
Now they're older and range from age 42 to 55. We still treat them equally, making allowances for their various hang-ups (and yes, like the rest of us, they have their share).
So while we don't have any lazy, obnoxious offspring I've no doubt we'd have treated such a child the same way we treated our actual family. You just do your best for them but the time comes when you have to stand back and say, "It's your life." You know they may stuff things along the way but when a childhood morphs into adultery (??!) you just have to hope for the best.
Informational process would be different.
Love would always be the same.
Everyone here has a job to do. To be themselves.
Nothing more and nothing less.
It is of the upmost importance that hamanity
learns all that is learnable good, bad, or indifferent.
If you see someone who doesn't seem to be conforming
to your way of thinking, just be glad that it is not your job.
That is there job to be themselves. We have to have it all.
Ever seen an up without a down? A light with out a dark.
Love and accept them the same. Different parent-child relationship that is unique to each child.
Well, I would hope I would be aware of this early on and started working on whatever I found missing either in my parenting or in him.
Love is a gift, not a response. And love always tries to deliver whenever possible. I love all of my children equally and have tried and still try to meet whatever unique and valid needs they have. (Three boys, 50, 45, and 33.)
Discipline comes from "disciple" (follower and student of a mentor, teacher, or other figure) and I have always tried to make my children disciples in the things that in my opinion define a "good" human being---and that is a constant requirement for a parent.
But the best efforts don't always work---Unfortunately, one of the best unscientific comments I ever heard about a particular person was that "He was born broken."
I'd love them the same, which is why I'd beat the other into being a productive, intelligent member of society. Regardless of the gender and/or intelligence of my children, they will all graduate from college and become productive members of society or else they shall perish!