Sometimes I feel like I'm such a bad person, I often get into fights, I swear, and sometimes do not do appropriate stuff. I make bad decisions. I honestly feel like such a bad person, any advice at all?


3 Answers

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

Once you realize that you cannot control other people or their reactions, you will feel better. You cannot make someone like you; you cannot make your little sister do her homework; you cannot make your parents buy the latest and greatest phone.

Be content with what you have already been given. Fighting solves absolutely nothing.  It leads to self-destructive behavior and I think you realize that now.

Ask yourself why you do what you do? Is there another way to get what you want or need?

For example - say your mom wants you to babysit your little sister on Friday night when you want to go out with your friends. She and dad have a date night. How do you solve this? Take a breath - take a step back and realize that it will be ok. Ask if you could go out with your friends on Saturday night in exchange for babysitting on Friday night.

Learn to compromise; learn to listen to what someone has to say and learn how to discern what can help you in any given situation. Ask for help when you need it. You've recognized that you have a problem - that's the first step. Good luck.

Moga Deet Profile
Moga Deet answered

Make a list of behaviors that you don't like.  Pick one and focus on it.  First keep of diary of when and why you engage in that behavior.  After a week, look back and think about what you could have done differently in the situation or how you could have avoided the situation. Then, try wearing something to make you think about the behavior, like a rubber band.  When you are in a trigger situation, give it a little snap and stop and think before you do anything.  Then make a choice to avoid the destructive behavior.

You can retrain yourself.  Bad habits, like swearing, acting impulsively can have a negative impact on your life.  It can harm your career and relationships with spouse and children.

If you can't seem to get a behavior under control, look for a therapist who specializes in cognitive therapy.  Sometimes a few weeks of help can make a big difference.

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