Anonymous

I get aroused by seeing pictures of breasts, naked females and yuri, but I'm a girl. Am I a bisexual or a lesbian. I had crushes on boys before, but I can only see myself with girls. Please help :c?

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Lia Tan Profile
Lia Tan answered

First of all, what you are asking here is for a label. The only person who can truly label you is you. No one else can tell you whether or not you are lesbian or bi or whatever. Only you can determine that for yourself.

For instance, so far I've only dated guys but I have had crushes on both guys and girls. I have found that looking at girls is more arousing to me than looking at guys (I honestly think that female bodies are more attractive), but being with a guy and having an emotional and mental of connection with a guy is more arousing to me than being with a girl. Overall, I prefer guys over girls but I don't dismiss myself as being straight because I still find girls sexually attractive. But I wouldn't consider myself bi either because I just don't think that that label suits me (even though it probably does for most intents and purposes). I see me as simply me and I've grown to accept that.

That's why I'm going to leave it up to you to decide what you want to be considered as but I'll give you some suggestions on how to think this through. If you don't agree, then by all means ignore this if you want to because this is just my opinion. Anyway, most people who are educated about different sexual orientations don't think sexual orientation are boxes that people have to be put in. Most people would say that it's a line spectrum (similar to the Kinsey scale where 0 is straight, 6 is gay, and X is asexual). You can learn the general parts of it here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale) or you simply Google it online.

Although personally, I don't quite agree with the whole idea of the spectrum or the Kinsey scale entirely. I honestly think sexual orientation consists of three types of attraction (sexual, emotional, and mental) and they can each vary on their own individual spectrum however they like depending on the person. In other words, I think that each type of attraction should have a spectrum or a Kinsey scale of their own. These three types of attraction are not dependent on each other, meaning that just because one of them measures high for a specific gender, doesn't mean that all of them do. For example, a man can be sexually attracted to mostly males (a 4 or 5 on the Kinsey scale if you want to think about it that way), emotionally attracted to only females (a 0 or 1 on the Kinsey scale), but mentally attracted to both genders equally (a 3 on the Kinsey scale). There could be someone who is not attracted to anyone sexually (X on the Kinsey) but may have mental or emotional attractions. Or for me, I am sexually attracted to mostly females (about a 4) while being mentally and emotionally attracted to mostly males (about a 1 or 2).

So yeah, I hope that this helps you out a little bit. I know that thinking about your sexual orientation and finding that it doesn't align with the "norm" of being straight can be confusing. But don't worry, you are not alone in this and what you are going through isn't wrong or weird. This is perfectly fine and I hope that I made part of the journey easier for you.

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