I am so sorry about this, I have had to deal with this with my husband for many years, we have been together for over 27 years now, and he was drinking vodka very heavily for a long time there, just after we moved into our new house, and on our daughters 3rd birthday, he nearly died because of pancreatitis. I feel for you in this situation, he differs though in the number of dui's because he never gets caught. Anyhow, it really comes down to them wanting to quit, and them realizing that they have to or they are going to die. One sad thing about your husband is in prison not by his choice, but because he got caught again, I assume. When they do this and they get out, they tend to want to live it up right away, and get into trouble again soon enough. There is nothing that you can do for him, HE HAS TO DO IT FOR HIMSELF. Sad but true, not amount of talking to him is going to make him see the light so to speak. Another thing that slowed my husband down was that he had a heart attack. Hope this helps, good luck to you dear, and the children.
Alcoholism is an addictive sickness, both mentally and physically. He has practiced this behavior for over 20 years. There are two paths he can follow - quit drinking, which is a path he has taken before (jail, rehab,hospitals,etc - ALL FORCED) or just grab a bottle, which is the easier path. Guess who wins? If he doesn't understand that the level of consumption will kill him then I don't know if he will ever stop. You can try AA or a minister for help, but he is the one that has to WANT to stop. If that decision is not made by him, all the support in the world won't amount to anything. And , unfortunately, everyone around him is the victim of his abuse. I sincerely wish you good luck.
I no he had better stop the drinking. ,before its to late.hes looking at a dead end Rthats for sure.can't you do anything else to help him.? This is so sad.is he sad About something in hes life. Whats wrong with him.doesn't he nos that this Drinking is so so bad for him right now.can't any body tell him this. Why don't You try telling him that you will leave him if he doesn't stop the drinking.I really Fell for you.and him. I really do.you no what will happen don't you.because it will If he don't stop this drinking right now. All you can do is the best you can.and Now its up to him, he has to wont to him self.anyways I wish you and him well..
I too am sitting here alone and heartbroken b/c of my alcoholic husband. Be honest with yourself. If your husband is addicted to booze are you addicted to your family or to him? Not a bad thing of course...if you are that only means you are a good woman. Thats why it's not he who has the problem but you. He is as happy as can be. He has his booze on one side and his woman & kids on the other. My husband has over 20 years of binging, multiple DUI's. I've been with him 10 of those years. He is on a binger, as we speak I do not know where he is. Sometimes love has to stem deeper than our own selfish, childish wants. Be the adult and wave the white flag. Sometimes he HAS to lose his family in order to quit. Especially if you've left him before. If you have multiple times you have made yourself an enabler. I'm sorry for your loss but know this: Too many women have suffered for equal rights in this country. Circa 1800's being married to a drunk was your only option! Divorce and the luxury to leave would have been an answered prayer for us women back then. Stand for something or fall for everything. That gnawing question of what if he quits and finds another woman? From what I hear they don't. I was that other woman and I am in the same boat his ex-gf was 11 years ago! How I envy her now! Let's say he does there'd always be that pesky voice in your head asking when the next "big one" going to happen. It's been about 2 years and I wonder if he's sobered up, if you left him or not. In my position where I sit now I live vicariously thru you believing you left him.
I would think not. He has clearly hit the equivalent of "rock bottom" more than once (or twice, or 30 times). If everything he has been through has not convinced him to stop, he is likely a lost cause. Get away from him now - for your sake, but more importantly you daughters'. I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but your post, taken on its face, demonstrates a loser. He needs to be in prison, and you and your kids need to start a new, abusive-free life. I am a criminal defense attorney who has seen people who shape up after a second chance, and those that never do. I can tell you that it seems like your husband falls in the later category. Just my opinion.
