It will get better... But, you have to hang tough and not go back to talking to him. Time is your new friend.
An update in the comment on my relationship?
Sam, this level of love is exactly like an addiction to something. This takes time because your brain gets a boost of certain chemicals when you are "Happily" with this person. It gets so used to it, that when it is cut off cold turkey . . . It is literally starving for that influx of chemicals it looked forward to.
It will get better with time . . . First loves are tough.
Well, I wanted to post an update for everyone since I've come to this website countless times to talk about my relationship problems. From what i last posted, I had stopped talking to my ex for a few days. I took the time to figure out what I wanted and I honestly felt relieved. I still loved him and wanted him in my life but it needed to be him trying this time. He texted me 3/5 days. 2 of those texts not meaning anything and the last one getting me to throw my feelings out there. We talked for a little but things quickly went back to what I didn't want them to be so I would leave him on read or just one word him. I wanted to see if he would care enough to double text me, which he did. He even throw the occasional "I love you still" or "Youre the only girl in my life". Bs. A girl had ended up following him on instagram so i asked who she was. I knew something was off. He quickly changed the topic back to me by saying "idk who are all the guys that follow you". The next day he didnt text me at all from 6pm -9pm. I knew something was up. I found out that he and his friend had being hanging out with these two friends for a while now. The girl that he was hooked on was the same girl that I asked him about from instagram. I guess before I even took my space from him he was already seeing her and going to the movies. Damn. I texted him twice asking if he was talking to someone else and then saying that i never wanted him to speak to me again. I didnt get an answer so i called him 5 times. He declined every call and texted me saying "stop fing calling me" "what do you want" "youre being annoying" i never answered after that. I blocked him on every social media app and deleted his messages. Today i decided to message the girl and let her know that hes been telling me he loves me while hanging/texting with her. She thanked me for letting her know and then proceeded to ask if i was the one who kept calling him the previous night. I said yes and she told me that he kept saying that he didnt know who was calling him. Ouch. She told me that she was going to ask him about it and that she would let me know what he said but i never got an answer from her. Its been 3 hours. I dont think i will. I feel bad for her if she goes for him. But shell have to learn the way i did. Or maybe he'll actually treat her right and make her happy. As for myself, im a mess. 2 years and he chooses her. 2 years down the drain just to be lied and cheated on by the first boy i have ever loved. It hurts. I dont know when Ill ever be okay again. But everyone says time heals. I hope theyre right.