At what point do you stop blaming the parents for a child's drug addiction?

11 Answers

Ancient Hippy Profile
Ancient Hippy answered

You can't blame the parents unless they gave the drugs to the kid or the kid used drugs to escape the horrid conditions and actions of his parents.

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

If it is in fact the parents' fault in some way, then that fact never changes.

But sooner or later, a drug problem is solely within the responsibility of the addicted person to deal with.

He or she may need an intervention, he may need other help; but until he wants to do it for his own sake, he will continue to use.

Otis Campbell Profile
Otis Campbell answered

You have to grow up sooner or later and stop the addiction

Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

As a parent I think you always blame yourself..... Where did I go wrong? What could I have done better? Were there warning signs? Was my child crying out for help and I not see it? What could I have done differently? Then I think it becomes "normal" to just accept the fact that you didn't prevent it and it's easier to think that then to think their child isn't perfect. When we look at our children for the first time cradled in our arms the last thing we think is "Oh I hope to turn you into a drug Fein someday!" Parents make mistakes and kids are not perfect. It's time to stop pointing fingers and pointing the addicts into the right direction.

Twallgirl Wallace Profile

This is a very difficult question to answer..  You never stop being a parent. If a child chooses to go aside from the things he was taught, there is nothing that you can do. We are not left without hope though. We can pray that they return to their senses

Jann Nikka Profile
Jann Nikka answered

At 18.

Side story

My youngest brother (55yr) casually told me 35 yrs ago, my deceased mom and her husband are the ones who introduce him to drugs. He's been a dope head/drug addict for 35 years. He was so doped up he didn't come to her funeral, he later told my sister he forgot she died.

lady horse Profile
lady horse answered

Parental neglect can cause emotional abuse due to early separation. It is often not recognized until decades later and those scars may never heal.

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lady horse
lady horse commented
The point I was trying to make was, when you grow up with this feeling of abandonment, the "emptiness" can cause you end up looking for love in all the wrong places.
lady horse
lady horse commented
***...cause you to....
Darik Majoren Profile
Darik Majoren answered

So as I have said many times, you are WHO you are because of Genetics, Environment and Experiences.

On Addictions and recovery.org there is some information that is handy. (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/is-addiction-a-disease.htm)

"Addiction is due 50 percent to genetic  predisposition and 50 percent to poor coping skills. This  has been confirmed by numerous studies. One study looked at 861 identical twin  pairs and 653 fraternal (non-identical) twin pairs. When one identical twin was  addicted to alcohol, the other twin had a high probability of being addicted.  But when one non-identical twin was addicted to alcohol, the other twin did not  necessarily have an addiction. Based on the differences between the identical  and non-identical twins, the study showed 50-60% of addiction is due to genetic  factors."

Coping skills we learn growing up from people we look to for guidance. For many this is their parents. This can also be a mentor we wanted to be more like or even someone we admired from afar (celebrity). The point being . . . If 50% - 60% is genetics, and the rest is how we learn our coping skills . . . The larger percentage is from our parents. Even if you were adopted into a family environment that taught great coping skills (learning to rely within rather on external means to feel complete), if you were predisposed from genetics for addiction, you are already starting at a deficit.

Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

Bad parenting can be the cause of damage and  dysfunction but they are not to blame for how one chooses to escape emotional pain.  Drugs and addictions result from choices made .. Conscious choices. Addiction is a consequence of bad choices.

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

Each addicts story is different and many times the parents are never to blame. The addict makes a poor choice that leads to other poor choices. There are numerous stories of kids getting through high without ever trying a drug. Many were the stars of their school. Popular and smart. Then they get to college and they find out they are not as special as they thought they were and have trouble keeping up. Someone offers them something to help them study for a big test. Before you know it they are taking it all the time just to get by.

Other times the parents are addicts and that is where the kid picks up the habit. They are to blame.

In either case, and all other cases, it is up to the individual to fight back and fight the addiction. Once an addict buys their own drugs, it all falls on them.

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