Anonymous

Is me wanting my boyfriend to go to his bed for a night and sleep apart a reason for him to kick me out of the apartment we had moved in together? We had two separate beds instead a double bed cause we both knew we needed a space time to time.

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6 Answers

Teengirl Need Help ASAP Profile

He might've just had a bad day.

Unless he is quick-tempered.

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fhoj pvuk
fhoj pvuk commented
of course he did, but he never apologised and continued to saying this is my fault. now we are separated and he keeps sending very bad messages. i am struggling with understanding people, emotions. i really dont understand them. so, is this my fault? i have a right to say no, right? he should apologise?
Teengirl Need Help ASAP
Well, these messages are on social media, right? If they are not, well, I'm just guessing. But if they are, block him or something. That will probably alleviate some stress he is giving you.
Yes, he should've apologized. If he has not apologized at this point he is probably just not the right guy for you. Trust me.
fhoj pvuk
fhoj pvuk commented
yeah, he is definitely not the one, but i am shocked by his attitudes, started to think i was wrong even though i know i wasn't. people are just so bad.
Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

If your name is on the lease, then technically, he cannot kick you out. If you are on the lease, then you need to talk to the landlord if you want to stay and see what they can do (do they have another apartment that you can rent).

If you asked for space, and your boyfriend decides to kick you out, then you might want to examine if the relationship is worth it. That's how a child behaves if they hear something they don't like.

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fhoj pvuk
fhoj pvuk commented
i found another place to stay. and i just feel.. i dont know how i am feeling. never heard of this one.
Danae Hitch
Danae Hitch commented
You probably feel a little stunned that he's being such a d*ck about this. And you're probably remembering other things that he has done and wondering if you have missed some signs along the way.

I felt that way about a best friend earlier this year. She cut off communication with me - after 2 years of friendship - saying I was "too needy". We normally would communicate or go out for drinks or to a movie once a week. She got busy and cancelled. I just followed up a few days later - no response. Waited a few more days - again, no response. When I sent an email to see if everything was ok with her, she snapped back at me that I was smothering her (2 text messages).

It happens. Sometimes you know why. Sometimes you're told a reason that doesn't make any sense. You can pick it apart, but sometimes, it's just not meant to be.
Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

Personally, I think it's rediculous to be in a commited relationship and not be able to find a compromise ... But that's just me.

Had you discussed this preferrence of sleeping arrangements as a couple?... Did you come to an clear understanding or agreement that THIS was something you wanted ? Was he given the opportunity to voice his concerns about it? If not, this might very well be the beginning of your undoing.  I'm thinking he may have just simply took your preference to sleep apart offensive as it may seem (at least to him) some sort of rejection. 

Legally, if your name is on a lease, he has no legal right to kick you out .. Period.

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fhoj pvuk
fhoj pvuk commented
i understand if he is upset and says very bad things, and i can even reason with him about him kicking me out, but it's been more than 2 weeks, still no acceptance of bad attitude and apology, instead he continues to insult me. so, tell me people, i am over with him, how can i find someone who can follow the rules set and never insults the other one in case of a conflict? we can have problems in our relationship, but if you love someone you should not upset that person, put stress on him/her no matter what.
anyway, he is 29 but not mature, and won't accept his fault, never apologise, NEVER.

apologising is a good thing, imho.
Bikergirl Anonymous
You know, your parting company may be a good thing. He obviously has an abusive nature and I can assure you .. after what you have explained, chances are .. THAT will only worsen over time.

He has some issues to overcome before he should EVER enter into a relationship, never mind move in with someone .. clearly.

Forgive me for chiming in .. but, please let me give you a piece of friendly advise. Rethink your ideal about love. Your comment "but if you love someone you should not upset that person, put stress on him/her no matter what." .. scares the crap outta me. I'm thinking you have a very naive ideal about love.

The reality is .. love should not inhibit who you really are .. it should liberate you. The ideal that love should remove all conflict is simply a falicy .. a fantasy. THAT is not how real love works.
Bikergirl Anonymous
Real love does experience challenges and it often tested. It grows and metamorphasizes as a relationship matures. Part of growing both as an indiviual and as a couple is finding out your differences and your similarities. There is no such thing as not having differences. So, there are times where you may have a difference of opinion .. and may get upset or even escalate into an argument .. but it is not about having a difference of opinion .. it's about how you handle a difference of opinion.

Talking about it, expressing your true feelings, accepting that you have a difference of opinion and finding a compromise .. THAT is how you handle it. Sometimes you just literally have to agree to disagree. You don't become abusive to someone just because they think differently ... True there are people who do not handle dissappointment or anger very well .. but, in those cases .. It is still important to appologize and not burn your bridges (so to speak) .. not for your thinking or your opinion but for your bad behaviour. The harshley spoken word can cause as much damage as any weapon.

Leanning how to communicate in a positive manner is what makes a couple or even a family grow and flourish. Emotionally speaking, shutting doors or putting up walls is keeping them out .. not letting them in.

This guy (soon to be your ex) has got a lot to learn about how relationships work .. until he does (which sadly is highly unlikely) .. keep your distance, and move on.
Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Not in a relationship with two mature adults who respect each other.

Jann Nikka Profile
Jann Nikka answered

Now, that you know how he's going to act, get your own place.

Side point..... When I was 17 my deceased mother put me out, someone took me in and she lied on me so they put me out. So, I prayed LORD, if you please help me get an apt, I will always pay my rent first so no one can ever put be out again. That was over 50+ years ago. 

Point... Move on, or at least get your own place.

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