What would you do if you woke up in the morning and God was lying beside you?

I'd thank her for last night and give her a pat on the butt.

Seek professional help and probably get meds because I would be seeing something that doesn't exist.

I'd ask for the day off from work... Make him coffee and pancakes and spend the day chatting about stuff. I'd finally get all my questions answered.

Wouldn't happen. There isn't any room next to me. My dogs sleep there.

I would ask him why on Earth you designed wisdom teeth?

Then I would check out what I ate before and would take a cold shower  cause I'd wanna get out of my hallucination before anyone else notices...

Couldn't happen---the only time He needed to rest was on the seventh day.

Scream, hit him, and call the police because a guy is in my bed.

I don't believe in God, so I wouldn't care what profanities I say in front of him.

He'd catch an angry beatdown, because that could only happen if my angel wife got pushed on the floor. I don't play that. 

Then He'd have some splainin' to do for all the uncounted millions of innocent babies who suffer and die of starvation and disease; The Crusades; Mosaic Laws; tapeworms; Hitler, and so many other failures. 

But, alas, that opportunity will never come. 

There is no way that something like that could happen. The bible says this at Ex 33:20 "But he added: "You cannot see my face, for no man can see me and live."

I would probably relapsed from being sober for 16yrs to see god (he or she) by me

Depends.  Is he hogging the blankets? 

I'd probably ask him why he allowed so many bad things happen in the world. I mean if he made the planet we live on he could surely stop catastrophic events and such like.

God is a particle not a person.

You are the god you seek.

god is everywhere......

I would ask for photo ID. 

Then I would rip into it with my long list of grievances, such as why did it sleep through all the holocausts!